Counterpoint

Chapter 86

He is my counterpoint. He is completely capable of living without me and unraveling my entire existence with a single sentence, but with the possession of such power comes the knowledge of when to wield it and when to sheath it. The knowledge of his ability to leave and live without me encourages me to fight for him in a way that I've never fought for anyone before, I don't have an option to let him go. I choose not to live without him and that means doing anything and everything that will preserve this union, even if that means disagreeing completely with his choices.

   A quiet sigh slips past my lips as I ponder the future and what our life together will look like once we go home. Time ticks ever closer to the reception and I note with curiosity that no alarms are going off. I sit up and glance over the back of the couch into the dimly lit bedroom, Thomas hasn't stirred and just as I was about to get up to check his phone for alarms I find it sitting on the table beside the armrest my head had previously been resting on.

   He didn't set an alarm.

   Perhaps he had forgotten to set an alarm. He didn't sleep well the night before and Thomas doesn't really function properly with anything less than eight hours of sleep. I cradle his phone in my palm, deliberating my next step. Do I wake him? It's possible that the lack of alarm had been intentional, but who's to say what Thomas is thinking or feeling towards his family right now. Their relationship is far more dynamic than anything I have ever witnessed before or will ever be able to understand.

   My chest inflates with air as I make my decision, rising to my feet, gripping his phone tightly. I slip into the bedroom soundlessly, hovering by his bedside with the trained silence of a parent resting my weight on the pads of my feet, careful not to make any unnecessary sound. Gentle hands shake his shoulder and eventually drowsy brown eyes peer up at me through dark lashes.

   "Did you forget about the reception?" I question softly.

   "No." He hums in response, his voice thick. "I set an alarm."

   "You did not." I say, presenting his phone as evidence. "Were you really intending to go tonight?"

   There is a pause. If I hadn't been able to see his eyes looking up at me I would have thought he had fallen back asleep. His lips part before pursing slightly.

   "I don't know." He confesses. "I suppose I had been hoping you would make the decision for me."

   "Ha!" I scoff quietly. "So you can blame me for however it turns out? I don't think so, Jefferson. You need to make this choice on your own."

   "Why? This decision effects you just as much as it effects me."

   "That's where you're wrong, sweetheart. They're your family, your relationship with them is now whatever you miss to make it." He tries to turn his head away but I catch his chin, gently. "I will support you no matter what you decide, but you need to decide where you wish to go from here."

   "Would it be wrong of me to want to go back to New York?"

   "No, but would be able to live with that decision and its consequences?"

   "It sounds like you have a desired outcome in mind already." He replies skeptically.

   "You're right," I admit. "But all I want is for you to be happy. I don't want you to have to live with any regrets about how you handled this situation or how you left things with your family. If you're going to make a choice you need to be able to live with yourself after it has been carried out."

   "It's no wonder you're a politician, you really know how to get people to do what you want." He chides.

   "Never when I really need it." I reply with a soft laugh. "The choice is yours, what do you want to do?"

   "I'll go." He murmurs softly, his eyes hardening slightly. "That doesn't make anything okay again, you need to know that."

   "I'm aware." I press a gentle kiss to his forehead. "It's a process, but you've always been a patient man. Something I've always admired about you."

   "It hasn't always been a blessing."

   "Perhaps this time could be different. You could manufacture your own blessing by working towards a future with them, if that's what you want."

   "You make it sound so simple."

   "Perhaps it is, all it takes is a breath and a few words to start a conversation."

   He smiles up at me. "You're an idealist, something I've always admired about you."

   "Hmm," I chuckle. "Flattery will get you nowhere, my dear. You will have to be far more creative in your praises to please me." I tease him into quiet laughter. "Now it's time to get up if you hope to be ready in time."