Tequila

All These Years

Shawn was staring out of his apartment window with a melody stuck in his head. It's been three days since he first came up with a riff, and now it just didn't want to leave him alone. He would constantly justify his lazy behavior to maybe make it into a song by saying he was tired. And he was, but when had it ever stopped him before?
"No, this is bullshit" he murmured and took out his guitar.

It was the middle of October in Toronto, Ontario, and the weather was freezing, as anyone would expect from the fall season in Canada. Shawn loved this place. He loved the cold winds, he loved the fact his family was near him. He enjoyed the view he had at the city, from where he could see his favorite coffee shop. It had some kind of vibe he just couldn't explain, a feeling of home and belonging.

He touched the strings and let his mind flow. The melody came to him, so different from any other he had ever written before. It reminded him of sunsets and ocean. He texted his manager.

to Andrew: 'hey I got this new melody and I think it's gonna be big'

It was already 1 am, therefore he didn't expect to get a response until morning, especially because Andrew was now in NY, which meant it was the middle of the night for both of them.

Shawn lied down on his bed. If he was being honest, he started to become excited for this new song. He hadn't released any music since the Shawn Mendes album in May and he missed being in the studio, he missed the feeling of adrenaline in his veins.

He fell asleep with the melody repeating in his head.

~~~

It was around 9am when his phone woke him up. He took it in his hand and at first didn't know what the message was about.

from Andrew: 'Great! Can you send the melody? I will give it to the guys and we'll see! Do you have some lyrics already?'

And he remembered. He opened the voice notes on his phone and quickly listened to the melody and the riffs, and it was all in his head again. He quickly texted his manager back:

to Andrew: yeah, I attached the voice note, tell them to let me know what they think.
to Andrew: I'm slowly coming up with the lyrics, tell them as well.

He fell back on the bed, thinking he'd have to figure out the lyrics, at least to begin with. The la la las played in his mind.

Shawn sat down to the piano, still not entirely woken up. His fingers found the right keys and he thought about all the things this melody reminded him of: the beach, the sun, bars, warm weather... Miami.

He focused on Miami and the lyrics came to him instantly:
Land in Miami,
the air was hot from summer rain.

Shawn liked where this was going, then he remembered what Miami truly reminded him of: her.

He couldn't have been so dumb. Now every new line of the song was gonna make him remember her hair, her smell, her smile. Why would he have done this to himself again.

Camila was his weakness. Every person around him knew, some from him personally, some just by how he looked at her. It was obvious to his mom and dad, his sister, his best friend Brian, and probably every single songwriter he worked on the album with, especially Scott, Teddy and Geoff, just because of songs like 'Why'.

She knew too. And Shawn was aware of it. Every smart person would, and she was brilliant. There were more songs about her than not about her, some so clear he didn't want to talk about them, afraid his feelings might slip right out in the open. One part of him had made peace with the fact she would never be his, especially now that she had a boyfriend.

He sent the lyrics to Andrew and got dressed. It was time for a cup of coffee.

Toronto was crowded on a Tuesday morning. Since he woke up, he wasn't able to stop thinking about her, which brought him back to that summer in 2015, when they were performing IKWYDLS on basically every talk show there was. He had had a massive crush on her then and would get shy whenever she looked at him for longer than a few seconds. It went away after a few months though, and it transformed into something he couldn't explain back then. He now knew he loved her, but it didn't help at all.

Shawn couldn't express his feelings to her verbally, so he would just write them down on paper and transform them into love songs his fans enjoyed. He was happy because he saw she was happy. He wondered if he ever crossed her mind. If there were thoughts about him she would keep to herself. But at the end of the day he knew, friendship would have to be enough for him. And it didn't bother him as much as many would think.

~~~
A couple of days later he met up with his team of songwriters. They were all amazing and he was somehow excited to see how the song would turn out. They began playing and after a few minutes of talking Shawn heard Teddy say: "this has some serious Latina vibes to me." Shawn froze. Yup, he knew that. Another song about the same girl.
"It would actually be great if we had some lyrics" said Scott, and the creative process began.

They were now half an hour in, and Shawn was so happy because they finished the first verse. He couldn't not blush while singing the "her body fit right in my hands" part, knowing well his friends knew the song was about Camila the second he walked into the studio that morning.

"This is going to be a hit, Shawn" Teddy admitted, smiling. "It would be a great song for a collaboration."

"Yeah" he said. "With who. I don't feel like I could sing it with anyone I know"

"Oh, are you sure?" Geoff spoke, smirking at him. "'Cuz you know. Latina vibes, tequila sunrise, Miami-"

"Stop." He so wanted him not to say her name.

"Camila sounds reasonable"

Oh god. Why, Geoff, why, he thought. She's the only thing he'd think about anyways, and now he's going to want to sing a song FULL of steamy lyrics to her.

"Yeah. She does." He sigh. "But I don't know if it's such a good idea."

"Oh please, like you've been so discreet anyway. Just text her about it, see what happens."

So he did. He sent her a text explaining the situation and asking for her opinion. Later that day, when he was scrolling through Instagram, he saw her calling and his heart nearly dropped of excitement. He picked up and they talked for a while, both so happy to hear each other after so long. Then the topic changed and he asked her what she thought about making a song together.

And then she said no. He was a bit shocked. He'd thought she'd at least say she'd think about it, not close the topic completely. She liked the melody, but she still said she didn't feel it would be a great idea. He didn't understand, but eventually he let go, focusing on the other billion songs he started that deserved being finished. And he got over it, still having Camila in his mind every night before going to sleep.

Little did he know, she thought about him too.