his last christmas | sad kagehina fanfiction.

What they don't know.

A/N: This chapter involves a subtle mention of self-harm. Just a warning :')

After training that night, Hinata wandered home with Kageyama. Turns out Kageyama was Tsukki's secret Santa. They had a snicker about whether to give him salt for Christmas.

"When Tsukishima opens his gift, he'll be like ARGGG!! GRRR!! *angry noises* tCH! His reaction would be priceless!" Hinata mimicked.

They both laughed the way back. As Hinata approached his doorstep, he was unhappy having to say goodbye to Kageyama. He opened the door and turned to face him. "I'll see you tomorrow," Hinata grinned.

"Wait." Kageyama interrupted. "Come here."

As Hinata plopped down the front step, Kageyama clutched his hand. He gave him a small peck on the cheek and guided him in for a hug. For a while they swayed around lovingly, grasping each other's backs tight. "I love you, Kageyama," Hinata murmured in his ear.

His voice felt warm and soothing. "I love you too. Also, take off your long sleeve shirt for training tomorrow. They limit how well you can spike."

They let go of the hug and parted their ways. When Hinata got inside, he shut the door and took off his shoes in the foyer. "Mom, I'm home."

No reply.

He glanced around for a moment. Natsu was relaxing on the couch, watching anime with her juice box. "Shouyou!! You're home!" Natsu sprang up and ran over.

"Is mom home?" Hinata somewhat smiled and peered down at his little sister.

"Nuh-uh." Natsu shook her head.

The room hung silent, other than the constant blaring of sound from the TV. He was disappointed, but this was the accustomed behaviour from his household. Since Hinata's dad upped and vanished one day, everything altered. His mother regularly came home late. She had frequent dates she'd go on with random men she met at work. His mother often left him notes when she goes out.

"Shouyouuuuu! Why are you so quiet lately??" Natsu frowned. "It's unlike you."
     "Haha, school's just been a bit exhausting for me lately. That's all." Hinata pat her on the head. "Continue watching TV, I'm going to make dinner."

He hadn't eaten since lunch, so he was quite hungry. He made his way over to the bench and took out some ramen. There was a slip of paper placed in the middle of the table, just as expected.

It read;

"Hi, Shouyou. I hope you had a good day. I'll be gone until morning again. Natsu has already eaten, so just put her to bed at a reasonable time. Love you."

Abruptly, he'd lost his appetite. The hunger he once felt had sunk into a nauseating feeling. This occurs most nights now. Yet somehow he still wasn't used to it.

"Natsu. It's time for bed." Hinata gulped. "You shouldn't stay up too late."

"Aww, okay." Natsu switched off the TV and grabbed her blanket. "Goodnight big brother, see you in the morning!"

"See you then." Hinata let out a great smile.

But that smile didn't last for long.

As soon as Natsu's door shut, he fell to his knees and cupped his face in his hands. Hinata's breathing became out of pattern. He squinted his eyes and let the tears flow out. "Do people believe I'm still as happy as I used to be?"

He laughed dismally and stood up, making his way to his room. He closed the door behind him and fell to the ground once again. Hinata took his volleyball uniform off until he was just wearing underwear and a long sleeve shirt. He tossed the clothes to the side.

He started bawling, gripping his arm. "I'm so sorry."

As he slowly lifted his sleeves, multiple cuts and scars on his forearm were exposed to the air around him.

Hinata grimaced.