The Secret Life Of The American Teenager [sequel]... Moving On

Episode 2: options

The night has fallen. Without keeping notice of time i drift off into a deep sleep. A sleep i couldn't fall into just a couple of weeks ago. I feel like i haven't had a good night sleep in months. Every little thing collapsing down on me. This cruel and dark world with its twisted intentions falling down as a shooting star from the sky. I try not to think as i drift off to my well needed sleep. But something inside of me tries keeping me awake while i just wanted to sleep. It's a burning sensation telling me i should get up and do something. Do something about my daughter's well being. Do something to make sure my ex forgives me for everything i've put her through. For the little things i made her feel while we were not together and she had to go through a troubled pregnancy all by herself. It's hard realizing it now. Too late. I wish she would see how much i truly care for her and both of our children. It's the truth as i always say, that i do feel for her. That i want to hold her, be with her and wake up; but most importantly sleep right next to her in the same bed. Not in different ones, in different places. I lay here at the Juergens' old house. Since George moved out and Anne living elsewhere we still haven't decided what to do with the house. Right now George and Anne are still paying for the house. They wanted to sell this place to Amy and me to start and continue our family here. George thought it would solve our relationship if we just moved in together. Anne thought it was insane and wishes for us to solve our issues first. Even if it means being apart. I think it's a strange idea to buy this place from her parents. And i think it's even stranger they are still willing to pay for this place until we have decided what we'll be doing. Don't get me wrong it's nice of them to be this kind. But what else can they do with a grandchild at the hospital and a daughter falling into a depression. A grandson trying to understand what is happening around him and the person who got their daughter pregnant, twice lingering around. Because that's how i feel. I feel like i've been lingering around lately and what i say or do is always wrong. Sometimes i have the urge to leave. For good. Start all over.

I roll over to the other side of the bed. It feels awkward sleeping in George and Anne's old bed. "Well at least the sheets have been changed." I think to myself. Amy is in her old bedroom. John sleeps there too. We put Ashley's old bed in there so John can sleep in it. It feels strange with them being there. Amy doesn't want John in the third bedroom because she feels like she's failing as a mother and wants to keep John in her gaze. The third bedroom was also meant for Brayleigh. There's a crib in there and some pink pillows and a pink wall we painted together when she was still pregnant. That was a moment we started to bond again but it didn't last long. Unfortunately. I think that is the main reason she won't let John sleep in there because it was meant for our daughter. And no matter how many times i say our daughter is still alive in the hospital, she doesn't believe me. Or it seems like it. She told me she called doctor Worthly the other day for our options but we still haven't decided yet. There is no good option or solution to this situation. There just isn't. But i'm not gonna tell her that... and with that in mind i drift of to a deep sleep.

[to be continued]

Author's note:
I feel like i need to apologize if I have let anyone down because of my promise to keep writing this story. But the truth is. It's very hard to get back to it. And don't get me wrong because i want to finish it! I really do! I still love what i created. It's been what 4 years or more since i started this story?! Life has changed though. For me. And i guess for all of my readers that are still with me all of these years! I do read all of your comments ! I do! And i appreciate all of the support i got through the years! And this is not a goodbye! Definitely not! I am still eager to finish this book. I only have to get back into it. It's one hell of a job to get back into something you haven't read/written in a year. I also want to wish you all many healthy days a head of you because life really did change these past couple of months huh. I wish you all very well and I hope to see you in the next episode.

Ps: i have an important question. If i'm going to continue this story i have to spice Things up a little bit. Meaning; adding Some erotic content into the storyline. I'm not saying i Will actually add this in the book but if i might i want to know what you Guys think of it? I also have to put an age restriction on the book for obvious reasons then.

Hope to see you in the next episode! Sorry if it Will take time.