medicine {h.s.}

CHAPTER FIVE

august.

"Abaddon over there fucked everything up."

Day three of neuro, and already things have begun to go awry.

It seems almost impossible that three days ago, Monty, Ruth, and I were sitting in the car on our way to the hospital; Ruth was unable to shut up, as she continuously rambled on and on about being a neurosurgeon. Grumpy from a lack of sleep, I rudely quipped that she was not a neurosurgeon. Following a neurosurgeon around for a month does not make you a neurosurgeon. Understandably, Ruth was upset by my quip and Monty had to play mediator for the rest of the day. Fortunately, I know the way to Ruth's heart. After work, I brought her over to the Fat Monk and bought all her drinks for the evening. Quickly, we were back on good terms.

In comparison, this makes our fight look like nothing.

"What did he do?" I question lowly, looking across the landing of the hospital to see him sitting nervously. That alone is an indicator of what had happened. In all the time I've known him, he has consistently been on the top of his game. Nothing seemed to have the ability to shake him. Now: elbows are rested on his knees and his left leg incessantly jiggles as his head is cupped in his hands, looking down and avoiding the gaze of the the onlookers. Suddenly, the nickname sets in with me. It's a foreign word—one I've not heard before. I turn my attention to TJ, eyebrows pulled tightly, "Abaddon?"

He shrugs his shoulders looking at me inconsequently, "Hebrew." He is hardly paying me any attention, instead his eyes remain locked in a firm glare across the landing towards Styles' form that is remaining in its nervous looking state. When I still say nothing, he just exhales, "sorry, sometimes I forget that not everyone went to Jewish school for the first seven years of their life." Finally, his attention snaps from Styles. Positioning his body towards mine, he rests against the nurses station and looks down at me. Standing next to each other, I am aware of how much taller than me he is. "It means 'the destroyer.'"

In spite of myself, I snort. Quickly, I cover my mouth, not having anticipated for the joke to have landed so hard with me. While TJ is not presently laughing, I know he is proud of himself for having come up with such a witty name for Styles. "Fitting," I chortle, shaking my head as I turn to move Styles out of my view. "So, what actually happened?" In the time since the lab screw up was discovered, rumors and speculation of what truly happened spiraled like a wildfire. Everyone had heard a different story and no one knew the truth of the matter. Hospitals serve as a sort of gossip mill. Nurses hear everything and are not shy about repeating the information that they've heard. At times, this is beneficial. So long as you know to take everything with a grain of salt. Think about it logically: if the nurses hear everything, and then the nurses repeat everything—not all of everything is true.

TJ looks over his shoulder, looking to see if there is anyone listening in on him. "Honestly? I don't know," he bites down on his lip as he puts his hand on my bicep, leading me away from the nurses station. His head is bowed down low so that he can speak without being overheard by anyone other than myself. A couple of hours ago, we were informed of the mistake by Vargas. We were also told not to ask questions. "We were told collect some labs with a resident. The resident sent me off to check up on one of her post-ops. Next thing I know, Styles is being told he fucked up some labs and unnecessarily put a patient at risk."

The words cause me to stop in the middle of my step. Though I am not at all connected with this situation, I can feel the erratic thudding of my heart in my chest. This, I have not yet heard. "Reckless endangerment," I question, the words coming out of my mouth barely above a whisper. In medical school, this is one of the chief things we were warned about. Our jobs can kill people, even when we are doing our best. Which is why we need to always stay at our best. One wrong move, and there are literal lives at stake.