It's raining in my backyard

2

Love.
It does not make you just blind, it makes you deaf, it makes you dumb, it makes you aggressive, defensive, it makes you a lioness when it comes to defend your loved ones, it makes you rebellious, it brings out a side of you that you never knew you had, and lastly, it makes you do things which you never imagined that you'd ever do. And that scares me.

Really. It scares me because after everything that has happened, I'm still not immuned to it! It still weakens me in front of it! I still do things just out of love.

Or else I wouldn't be in Miami. I didn't have to come, I could have said no. It would be lot more easier to hole up in my grandma's summer house.

But still here I am! Just because Rebecca begged for me to come, she cried so much that in the end I had to say yes. Or it was Rachel who made me say yes. But I said yes anyways. I said yes because I love them both.

With a first foot out of flight's door that feeling hit me. As if the humid air and hot temperature had this pressure that was making me hard to breathe. As if someone had put tons of weight on my chest, on my shoulders or as if my whole body was made of iron, so heavy that I couldn't take a step ahead.

A passenger behind me said 'excuse me' rather harshly and went on after he bumped into me, he glared back at me as he went further down the steps.

"Shit, Rachel, I don't think I can do this..."

"Yes, you can. You definitely can!" she is trying to encourage me but she herself sounds nervous, just as I am. And she takes my hand in hers and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

"I need out, umm... I think I need fresh air... "

"We are already outside, in the fresh air! We are on runway Sam!"

Rachel, Rachel... Why can this girl not understand! But yes it is pathetic to say 'I need fresh air'...well it's pathetic to use that line anywhere, but this sticky humid air is anything but fresh, And what I need is fresh cold crisp air, where I could breathe till my lungs full with air.

"I know this is crazy, but can we go back home? I'll pay for the flight! Freda wasn't happy anyways..." I ask hopefully, but I know well, that she'd say no. In a way I even expect her to say no. It's weird to want to do and not want to do a same thing at the same time.

"Your grandma is never happy when it comes to your relatives from your father's side Samantha, but would you stop meeting your uncle and aunt and Nathan just because Freda says so?"

"This is different!" I say as we wait for our bags to arrive.

"How?"

"Becca said she never wanted to see me again!" Yes she had, she had looked at me with disgust and anger, and she had said to go away, that she did not want see me again, ever again.

"She was angry and grieving, it was wrong but what else did you expect her to say?"

"But I did it for her." my voice comes out small and vulnerable. I don't want to speak about it, I never do. But it's an unavoidable subject when we talk about Rebecca. But I have learnt my lesson, do not ever help someone if it is not asked for, ever!

"Yes, maybe that's why she want to meet you again! "

Is this girl my best friend or is she her lawyer?

"Why are you defending her?”I couldn't help asking.

"You need to give her a chance Samantha, tell me, am I wrong? "

"I don't know."

"Sam..." she expects me to say no, she expected me to say that she was right, that I outh to give Rebecca a chance to rebuild our relationship as it was before. But I don't know if she can do that, if I can do that now...

She says my name again and sighs a long sigh when I just keet staring at the passing bags.

As I get my bag, I glance around the airport terminal. Same restaurants, same cafés, newsstands, Nathan's Hot Dogs where Nathan had his first hot dog, souvenir shops and book shops... All the familiar shops... It made me feel nervous, because this was only a single terminal on MIA, out there, there was whole Miami, whole Miami which I knew, where I grew up and which I left behind with people I knew, People I love, who maybe do not love me back now, who may have totally forgotten about my existence by now. Everything was out there...

"Come on Sam! We have to go." she loops her hand in mine, "Miami, here we come!" she says with noticeable fake enthusiasm.

Yes, even if I was dreading over this meeting I had to go out there and meet her. Meet my stepmother. Whom I love, as much as I love my aunt, just as much as I would have loved my mother, if she were alive.

____________________________________

Hello there,
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Well bye bye for now. Next chapter will come.... Soon :p

- Sai :)