It's raining in my backyard

1

I was neither optimistic nor did I ever believe in fate. Or so did I think. But in reality I had never thought about fate, at least I had never made a connection of it with my own situation. After everything that I had as life and that has happened in my life, never did the thought cross my mind that it was fate.

In my first year of college I had written an easy for English. Our professor being so generous she was, had promised us that she'd think of giving us extra points if we read a play by Shakespeare that was out of our syllabus and submitted an five pages long easy on it over Christmas vacation.

Though I had no urge to work my ass off, to read a play and to write an essay in a vacation, my lonely self picked up a copy of Hamlet which was kept as a showpiece along with some other plays and classics in our living room just for flaunting it.

Maybe I was the first one to ever touch it, of course except Lara who used to dust them once in a while.

I read the play in five days. After reading Shakespeare's Twelfth Night and As You Like It reading a tragedy was something new... And while reading it a single thing occurred to me, or as Kohler says: I got an insight, that it was fate's working.

In my eassy "Pupets Of Fate" I tried to prove my point that how all those characters were driven by fate. From the ghost of late king asking for revenge for his own death and for marrying his wife to death of Gertrude. Professor Mancini questioned me "How would you say actions of Claudius were not trigger point?" nonetheless she gave me good amount of extra points that she had promised us.

I never thought of it afterwards. Never thought my life was fate's working. Not until I got to know the whole story behind disappearance of Samantha Alisa Hayden.

Or maybe it was effect of knowing the whole story. Maybe you can't really understand who or what was the trigger point with the perspective that you have when you too are involved in that story, when you yourself have got a story and then you call it fate. Because how far can one go, making connections of what happened and why it happened and what happened because of it or maybe it's just easy way out to call it fate or destiny or it was meant to be or some bullshit like that just because we can't search good enough for cause and effect relationship or I don't know...

But yes, sitting in front of her as she told me why she went away without telling anyone, it was like finding a missing piece of puzzle, which fitted so perfectly in picture of our life that everything was clear at once but at the same time it was so huge that it was hard to speculate on small bits and parts of it. Just like it is hard to examine a single leaf of a tree while you are looking at a whole jungle from some place high above.

There is something I understood that day.

The moment when she gripped the edge of that round blue table, to stop herself form crying and as she clutched mine when I kept mine on top of hers, to let her know that I understood her, I understood that I really understood her, I understood that I was no longer angry with her for abandoning me, I understood that it is in our hand and that made me realize that it always was in my hand. To be angry with her for leaving or not, to be angry with my parents for choosing their careers over me or not, to be depressed or not, to love this girl sitting in front of me or not. Yes everything was in my hand and I had to choose what I wanted, that I wasn't a puppet of fate.

"It's in our hand, Sam. We should take it in our hands. " I said the same thing to her.

She looked at me through her tears. For a long second I could see her blue eyes magnified with those tears, I could see her lips trembling as she looked at me with that look of a cought deer.

And then that dam broke, her grip on my hand went tight, her grip on the table went tight, and it was raining, maybe harder than ever before.

And through her wails and hiccups and her continuously running tears she faintly said,

"It was...it was always...always in my hand Eric. That's why it hurts the most."

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Hey there!

Did you enjoy reading this first chapter? It was a satisfying process for me to write it! I actually read Hamlet for it, can you believe that! What do you think about it? Was it a good read?

I'll update next chapter on next Friday, or maybe even before if I complete writing it! I can't keep myself from updating if it's done! So maybe it would be on Friday or maybe even before but definitely, in next week ;)

And, If you enjoyed reading this chapter, then please vote, share your opinions with me through comments, I will read each and every comment and reply back! They make my day!!

If you notice any grammatical mistake, or any spelling mistake please feel free to point it out. I won't feel bad about it. English is after all my second language, and I know I do small mistakes here and there, I'm sorry about that.

Thank you for reading!

Well bye bye for now,
Sai :)