I Refuse to be a Named Character

Part 3

His eyes looked up at mine, and then moved away restlessly, unable to hold in one place for too long. "What do you mean?"

"Do you remember? The one thing I wanted more than anything else?"

His head bent down, as if it were too heavy to hold up any longer. "You wished to live in obscurity, away from the plots and schemes of others." It was a whisper, filled with dread.

"Did you give me the bracelet, an easily recognizable sign of Prince Lucien's favor... hoping that it would mark me? That it would tie me, who wanted nothing to do with the plot of the succession of the throne... to you, who can't escape it? Did you harbor any thoughts that it might keep me from successfully hiding away, bringing me to live in the same world that you are forced to stay in?"

I watched him carefully as I spoke, praying he would speak up and say I was wrong. That he would laugh easily, telling me I was paranoid. That the bracelet meant nothing more than a small gift to remember him by, always meant to be retrieved before the final task.

That he had never hoped that it would be recognized. That I would have to give up my dream of avoiding the plot and living a peaceful life.

Please, please say that I'm wrong! My hands were clenched so tightly that my fingers were numb, my palm bleeding as the skin tore under the edge of my nails.

Luke looked up, and my heart ached at the familiar look in his eyes. Bitterness.Self-loathing. Loneliness.

"I can't say that I never thought that." He sighed, a painful sound. "I can't say I never hoped deep down that you would change your mind and rejoin this world to face it with me. But I was also telling the truth. I didn't think you would be found in the forest. I did plan to tell you the truth and let you choose for yourself."

"But instead you took away my only chance to control my fate completely." I laughed, but it was painful, so painful I could hardly breathe.

The perfect image he had left in my memories, a simple childish first love, crumbled away. I still cared for him, more than i wanted to, but it was tarnished by reality, closer to the truth than the ideal i had held in my heart for so long.

"I'm sorry." He didn't shirk away from the blame in my eyes, facing it head on with a bitter smile.

"Me too."

I reached out to grasp his hand, both of us flinching at the contact. Even now, with the anger and hurt I felt towards him, just touching his hand was enough to cause my heart to race.

I gently placed the bracelet he had given me in his palm, closing his fingers around it before dropping my hand.

"Take this back."

"No... I..." He started to refuse, but I cut him off.

"I can't accept this right now. At least not with all the many meanings attached to it. " We had spent less than a year by each other's side. I cared about him, but I wasn't ready to accept such a heavy promise.

"..." His hand tightened silently over the bracelet.

"After I fulfill my promise to my sister and help Graham get a Tarif, I'm going back to the forest. I'm not going to join this fight. I'm going back to living apart from all this. "

I took a deep breath after I spoke, watching his reaction. I thought he might argue. Try to convince me otherwise. Or at least look disappointed.

I did not expect him to smile.

"That's good!" He looked genuinely happy. "Get away from all this. Live a happy life."

"You..."