I Refuse to be a Named Character

Part 3

He was a traitor.

He had been portrayed almost as a hero in Deadly Crown. The one person who had come the closest to killing the villain Lucien. Of course he failed and died horribly, like all the other characters in that terrible book, but Lucien had been critically injured, almost failing to bring back the Tarif in time.

The plot has already changed. He was supposed to go to the Serpent Camp and get the Tarif quickly from Blade. But now he's in the Scorpion Camp, surrounded by enemies... what if he tries to kill him there?

I thought of Luke's reassuring smile as he promised to find me again.

Of him using his favor from Blade to help me instead.

Of choosing a more dangerous camp, just so that I wouldn't have to choose between him and my sister.

"Fool." I walked towards my horse, unable to stand still longer.

"Where are you going?" Chloe called out.

"To save Luke."

"What?! Why?"

I ignored her and kept walking.

"GIRL!" Blade called out after me, and I paused. She tossed a vial of clear fluid towards me and I caught it on reflex. "The Scorpion Leader likes to use poison, cause he's a weak bitch." She grinned. "That's the antidote to his favorite one. Go save that boy, tell him I said hi."

"Thanks."

"Try to do a better job next time of being a nobody." She laughed to herself, and walked away.

I headed forwards.

"Wait!"

A hand grabbed my arm, and it took everything I had not to turn around and swing at the person delaying me from reaching Luke. I turned around to see Graham, with an uncharacteristically serious expression on his face.

"Don't go." He spoke just loud enough for only me to hear.

"Let me go."

"Join us. I have the Tarif. If the other princes fall to their traitors, it will be just me against Fetter. With your help, I could be king."

"I promised Chloe to help you get the Tarif." I gestured towards the amulet which was now around his neck. "That's all."

He shook his head. "You have the same power as Chloe."

I paused at that. "In a way."

"But you don't treat me the way she does..." He almost sounded wistful.

I couldn't help but laugh. "That's because she's sees so much, but when she looks at you she sees the hero of her dreams. When I look at you, however, I just see you for what you are."

"And what is that?"

I leaned closer to whisper. "A coward. Someone who would let their companions die without shedding a tear because they were only ever tools in the first place. Who gives those young women just enough hope that their special to you so that they won't figure out that you don't even see them as people, much less the love of your life."

"I'm not..." He trailed off, looking shocked. "I'm really not..."

"Not a coward?" I smiled bitterly. "Then tell them the truth. Tell one of these girls clearly that you love her. Or all of them, or none of them. Let them decide to help you because they think you would be a good king. Not because you were nice to them at the right time and they have hopes that one day they'll be your 'special someone.'"

His hand tightened slightly around my arm, his face tight. In his eyes was a desperate light I had never seen before, an almost hungry expression. "What if I said that to you?" He reached into his shirt, pulling out the pearl string he had shown me before. "What if I gave this to you? Would you stay by my side then?"

I leaned closer. "If you gave it to me, I would hand it back, and tell you to shove it up your ass." I smiled at his startled look. "Because you and I both know that the only person here that you love is yourself."

Breaking his grip on my arm. I walked away, refusing to look back again.

I had a villain to save.

_____________________________

She was walking away.

Graham stood in place, staring at the unnamed woman's back, a pain in his chest so terrible that made him wish he were alone and could scream.

He understood why Luke had tried to put his token on her.

Heaven help him. He understood completely.

Graham had grown up as a prince, in a kingdom where everyone he met either wanted to use him or kill him. He learned quickly to read people's eyes, to see the desires there. To learn what people wanted from him, what they needed him to be. He had to find what they desired, and use that to make them want to follow him.

He looked around at the group around him. She was right. He didn't see them as people. He looked in their eyes and saw what they desired... wealth, power, romance... and he used that to control them. They were tools in his hands. When he killed Arrisa he had only felt a mild sense of disappointment, the loss of a useful chess piece.

Even Chloe, when she came to him, with her special knowledge of the future, approached him with desire shining in her eyes. She saw him as a hero, and herself as the heroine. As long as he let her believe she was special, she would follow him, give him what he wanted.

But why was She different?

When she looked at him, there was nothing. No desire. No greed. She wanted nothing to do with this world, except to be away from it. She had no strong emotions looking at him. Not love. Not hatred. Just a mild dislike.

At first he thought it was a trick, that she was good at pretending. After all, if she truly didn't want power, she wouldn't wear the token of a prince on her wrist. He tried to push her, to learn about her. He would find what she wanted and offer it to her, to pull her to his side.

But when he finally saw the first flicker of a deeper emotion in her eyes... she wasn't looking at him. She was looking at Luke. There was anger, hurt there, of course. But there was also love... trust. She handed back the token, and he realized that Luke hadn't told her what it meant.

And Graham felt a strange flicker of desperation grow within him.

She had looked right at him. And she saw him for what he was. Not what she wanted him to be. Not what she could get from him. She saw him.

And she saw a coward. One she disliked.

Graham wondered what it would be like to have someone like that look at you, truly see you... and love you.

His fists clenched at his sides as a desire struck him, so strong it almost knocked him to the ground.

He wanted her.

He wasn't going to let her fade into the background, a nameless existence. He was going to drag her into the thick of it all. Stain her clear gaze with this world, until she desired something, anything. Something he could grab and use to tie her to his side.

She would be his. She would love him.

No matter what.