Sanditon revisited

6: How to know if to trust one's first impression, or second

Charlotte was too inexperienced and naïve to be intentionally coquette. If anyone had asked her how to flirt she would have said she did not know how, and she would never attempt it with a man like Sidney Parker. Yet there was a thrilling, fun lightness to the end of their conversation outside Trafalgar house, which made her flush from the feelings Mr. Parker evoked in her and the effect she somehow seemed to have on him.

She had liked the way his expression transformed. How his stern face softened, the jawline became less tight, and his eyes shifted from the usual near black to a warm, deep brown. His voice sounded amused rather than strained or annoyed and he took a step or two towards her instead of stiffly moving away from her as he always had done up to now. She did not understand the cause of this transformation or even register all of it consciously, but subconsciously she noticed it all and responded to it with her sweetest smile and by biting her lower lip in the most enthralling way. Charlotte Heywood was totally oblivious of her own flirtatious charm and therefore all the more delightfully charismatic. All she knew was that when she left Sidney Parker there in the street, she suddenly liked him more than before and had a feeling it might be mutual.

That feeling was enforced down by the river later that afternoon. He actually looked pleased when she joined him and the children there. His eyes were as warm as before and his smile even wider. She in turn, liked the way he was with the children, attentively playing with them and inviting her to join, allowing her to see a new side of him. She had the fleeting thought that he likely would make a more present father than his own brother whose mind always seemed to be occupied elsewhere, probably in his grand visions for Sanditon. No matter how much Charlotte admired Tom's vision, she remained firm in the opinion he was neglecting his lovely family on the account of it and she wondered how Mary could be so patient. She knew that if she ever married, it would have to be with a man who had his eyes on what was right before him, rather than on a distant, promising but illusive future. Of course she knew that men had important duties that demanded their attention and could not always be with their family, but she would want a man who was focused on her when he was with her. Much in the way Sidney was that afternoon. Never had she expected that Sidney in any aspect would turn out an ideal for how she imagined her possible future husband.

Actually, it was her thoughts that drifted away from their togetherness, joining the bark boats down the stream and suddenly she envisioned a full-fledged regatta. He perceptively noticed the shift in her, asked to know what was on her mind, listened to her and took her idea seriously. He encouraged her to tell Tom about it and unlike his brother, did not take any credit for it. For the umpteenth time that day he amazed her. He was acting so differently from what she previously had come to expect from him and she appreciated it very much.

-o-

Is it conceivable that we had each other wrong?

He had asked that question later the same evening, when they walked side by side on the beach. The words were accompanied by a genuine smile, making the corners of his eyes crinkle charmingly. It made him look years younger and the fading light from the slowly setting sun softened his features further. He had taken off his hat allowing the sea breeze to freely play with his hair and, again, he seemed to enjoy her company.

Indeed so it seemed, that she might have had him wrong like he had her. Perhaps she had been to her hasty forming a judgement then only looked for signs that cemented that impression. She had thought him to be the sensible one of the three brothers, but also cold and unkind. Now it seemed perhaps only sensible held true. Normally, Charlotte trusted her first impressions to be right, but here in Sanditon she found herself in unknown territory and she begun to realise that people in the world outside Willingden were more complex that she had realised, not wholly good or wholly bad, but a bit of both. Was it possible that Mr. Sidney Parker was both the unstable and unreliable man Esther had claimed and deep inside hid a good heart like Mary was convinced?