Sanditon revisited

4: So this is what a man looks like

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In which Charlotte Heywood sees something impressive which she never has seen before

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Charlotte strolled along a secluded cove, barefoot, enjoying the feeling of the pebbles, surfaces smoothened by the sea over the centuries under her soles. She felt carefree on the verge of irresponsible, because she knew a young lady should not walk here alone, should not take her shoes of or turn her face to meet the lovely warm rays of sun as they inevitably would give her an unbecoming tan, but she could not make herself care. Seldom had she felt so free. This had been a remarkable afternoon in many ways, and she did not want to end it by returning to Trafalgar house yet.

Earlier on, she had been to Lady Denham's all by herself to apologise for speaking her mind during the luncheon yesterday. She did it for Tom Parker's sake, because the old dragon had been so upset when she sent them home and as his guest Charlotte did not want to harm the relationship with his most important investor. Slightly intimidated upon her return to the grand house, she had found that the lady was amused by her innate outspokenness sooner than anything else. Lady Denham had chuckling told her that she liked to provoke and tease.

On her way back to Sanditon Charlotte reflected over that irritation, anger and fear might be the only feelings Lady D were able to stir in others, because no one seemed to feel the slightest affection for her. Maybe it was like she had read in one of her books; that everyone wants to be loved, failing that admired, failing that feared, failing that hated and despised. Everyone wants to make others feel something to leave their mark in this world. Suddenly she felt sorry for Lady Denham. Even with Clara around, she seemed lonely and people had clearly come to her luncheon either because they were commanded like Miss Lambe, or because they wanted something from the rich woman. Well, except Charlotte who had gone because she was curious to find out what a meal in such a fine home was like, how a pineapple looked and tasted and dying to get to know Georgiana Lambe. To Charlotte's disappointment they had had no chance to speak to one another for real and she never got to taste the pineapple, but it had been a quite an exciting event anyway apart from the company of the abominable Sidney Parker.

At that point during the walk, her thoughts had been interrupted as she caught a glimpse of purple moving near to the edge of the cliff at some distance. It was only a brief glimpse before it disappeared, but enough to know it was a person and that that someone had continued down the steep cliff side towards the water. Charlotte thought she recognized Miss Lambe and was immediately alarmed even if she was not sure why. She hurried in the direction where the purple dot had vanished and soon saw Miss Lambe further down, unharmed but well on her way towards the water. Charlotte sensed the other young woman was not out for a pleasurable stroll and hasted downhill, felt lose stones roll under her feet and almost slipped in her urgency to reach Miss Lambe.

When she thought herself to be within hearing distance she had called out. Miss Lambe did not react at first, only continued determinedly towards the water until Charlotte finally caught up with her and grabbed her arm. When she turned, tears had been streaming down her face and she was trembling with emotion.

"Are you all right?" Such a stupid question when it was obvious she was far from, but Charlotte did not know what else to say.

"Not really. I hate it here."

After the nasty treatment she received yesterday that was no wonder.

"I think it must be very difficult for you. I feel something of it myself. I'm a stranger here, too."

"But people don't look at you the way they look at me."

"No."

Miss Lambe had stopped moving towards the water and as they continued talking the two girls spontaneously sat down. Charlotte had comforted Miss Lambe and eventually her tears ceased falling. They had spoken of many things; of how Miss Lambe missed her home and hated the English climate, how she resented having Sidney Parker as her guardian and realised they share their animosity towards him. Miss Lambe, Georgiana resented that she had to be managed because she was in possession of a fortune, Charlotte found him impolite and cold. They had eventually laughed at how terrible Lady Denham had been the day before and agreed they could survive this together.