~shawn peter raul mendes~
"there was a time in my life where alcohol was just fun," i refuse to make eye contact with anyone in the room, as hard as it was with all eyes on me. "it wasn't dangerous for me to drink it then. now, it's the biggest issue in my life. every problem i have is because of the alcohol. one way or another. somewhere between then and now i lost myself."
i gulp, deciding to look up finally. the room full of recovering alcoholics stared back at me, waiting for me to go on. this was my first time attending an AA meeting. i didn't know what i was expecting, but it wasn't to feel so damn exposed. it took a lot out of me to even come, let alone stand in front of everyone and speak from my heart. my damaged, recovering heart at that.
"i was in denial for so long... the only reason i finally want to so something about all of the shit i caused is because of this girl." i admit to everyone and myself for the first time. "after ruining everything between me and her, i realized i have two options: get sober and try to fix everything i messed up, or keep drinking and forget all about her."
everyone looked intrigued by my words. it relieved me a bit because there is nothing worse than telling a story to an audience that looks like they couldn't care any less. so i decided to keep going.
"since i'm here, you probably think that i chose the first option. to get sober and fix my mistakes. well, i actually chose the other option. i drank a lot, but the crazy thing... i still couldn't forget about her." my eyes begin to water and i start to hate myself even more than i did already. i need a drink. "so... here i am."
YOU ARE READING
drunk in love - shawn mendes.
Fanfictionshawn is a 21 year old alcoholic who barely cared about anything until he met her. she tries desperately not to fall for him, but her efforts aren't enough.
