WORTHY ENOUGH

Prologue

Like every night , I waited patiently for the worse to happen ...... and it did .
But I was unaware that tonight's events would take an unexpected turn which neither I had anticipated and I am sure they hadn't either .

The tension in the air was thick , it felt impenetrable . The suffocating feeling was back again . I felt claustrophobic. Every breath took a great ounce of my energy and all I wanted was to escape .

Dinner , for me was the most dreaded time of the day . It was the time I came face to face with the reality of my life . The facade that ,I worked hard to maintain during the day , would crumble as if it never existed .
The false image of the wealthy TURNERS , consisted of happiness, respect and love . But I knew better than anyone , that the truth was far from it .

I kept my eyes on the untouched food . 'Don't look at them' , I kept chanting in my head .One look and everything would come undone ....my patience, my emotions and most importantly my resolve , to never let them see through me .

Their silence was ordering me to look at them. But I wasn't going to lose , not today , not ever . If anyone was going to lose it was them and I would make sure of it ......... for him .

CRASH ..... the sound of cutlery landing on the floor reverberated in the entire room . Satisfaction filled my insides as I realised how much my behaviour riled her up. She was like a ticking bomb which could go off any moment .

Dread , that's what I should have felt . But the truth was that I didn't feel anything and it scared me . The indifference terrified me . I was numb ....devoid of any emotions .

"Enough " , she screamed. " You think , you can defy me ? "
" I don't know what you are talking about " I said , in a firm voice .

A high pitched laugh invaded my ears . The sight of my mother's maniacal laughter was disturbing.
" I have eyes on you all the time . You can't hide anything from me ."

My face remained stoic , as I looked her in the eyes and kept silent .
" where is he ? " she questioned . I raised my eyebrows innocently. " Don't play it dumb girl , I know you've been in touch with him ."

" Him......oh you mean your son ? " I asked .
She flinched , as if she had heard something disgusting .
If they thought , I was going to betray my brother and take away his chance at living a life he had worked so hard to built ..... they were mistaken . I would do everything in my power to keep him away from this hell hole. Even if it meant enduring their anger . It was just a small price to pay for his happiness and if anyone deserved it , it was him .

" You are wasting your time , you won't get anything out of me ." I said truthfully .
Immediately, I felt a sting on my cheek . It wasn't something I hadn't anticipated because it was alas a daily occurrence. I couldn't help but smile at the constipated look on her face . But my humour only resulted in fuelling her anger. Sting after sting adorned my face . I had been her punching bag for far too long now . But everytime I felt the need to escape, I closed my eyes and pictured his smile and my resolve would strengthen.

Flashback

" Hey princess , what's wrong ? "

A whimper escaped my lips and he cradled me in his arms , rocking me back and forth.
" Mom gave you this ?" I asked while touching his cheek which was sporting a horrible purple bruise .
" I won't let her hurt you . I promise . " he hugged me tightly.
" I don't like it when you're in pain ."
" And I don't like it when you're sad .....you know that right ?"
I gave a small nod , but kept my eyes on the floor .
" Then smile for me princess. " he lifted my chin his forefinger and forced me to look at him .
" I love you the most In this world......Xavier ."
" You are my world princess ." A smile erupted on my face due to his words. He had a matching smile on his face .
And that's when I decided that ....

I won't let his smile fade away .....ever

Another hit and she screamed " you ungrateful kid " .
I wanted to laugh at the absurdity of the statement but every muscle in my face hurt like hell .
" You are becoming just like him , that worthless excuse for a child ."

That's it

That was the last straw . She had crossed her limits which I had been trying to extend over the years . It had ignited an emotion , which had been lying dormant for so long ...... Anger .
I caught her fist in my hand and glared at her . Anger was coursing through my veins. She tried to wriggle her hand from my grasp but I tightened my hold .

" I dare you to say that again " my voice came out low but confident .
Her eyes widened . My father stood up with a shocked look on his face , clearly realising the change of currents in the air and the fact that his wife was no longer in control.

I was as surprised as they were . I had never retaliated before . It was a spur of the moment reaction . But we had come too far to go back now .

The moment I caught her hand ,I knew this would change everything. The consequences of tonight would be dire ......but I wasn't sure if I could live with them .

I would have to make a decision for myself , for my future where I didn't want their shadows to lurk .

I released her arm and it fell back limply by her side . Their current inability to move allowed me to climb the staircase to my room without any hindrance.

***************

It was three in the morning . I stood on the porch, wide awake while the rest of the house was drowned in a daunting silence . I glanced at the letter in my hand. It was the only bright spot in my seemingly uncertain future , but enough to make me tighten the hold on my duffel bag. The sky looked bold and the calm breeze was almost challenging......

As I walked down the steps away from my past , all I knew was that ,with every sunrise there was a new day ..... a new chance of living a life , I would want to be proud of .
So I ran ...... with the hope that maybe I would never have to look back .

***************

This is not proofread. So please pardon any errors that you encounter .