Heart beats

Chapter 13

Wow. I feel so bad for Jamari right now. Tania was hurt. I don't have a sibling, but if I had one, I'd be so hurt if something like this happened to him/her. Tania and Jamari only had same father, but their love for each other still ran deep.
"Oh my God. This is terrible" Pamela said. For some reason I was still dumbfounded.
"I feel so bad right now." I was actually lost of words. My mom left my dad and I for another man. That alone was enough pain. If my dad took his frustrations out on me, I don't know what might have become of me. Jamari must be dealing with a lot emotionally and mentally. For some reason, I wanna be there for him.
"So is he gonna have a party or what? "
"Nah. Jamari would flip if anyone organized a party for him. He'd beat someone up" I let out a small laugh. Typical Jamari.
"He usually just stays alone on his birthday. I send him cute messages to let him k ow I love him, but I just respect his space. Even Rameek his best bud respects his space." I must really be dumb cos I still feel triggered to do a lil something for him. Hopefully he doesn't punch me to death.
"I still wanna do a lil something for him, I hope I don't sound crazy? "
"Not one bit. You sound like you're in love."
"And you know what love does. It makes you crazy. But we're proudly and happily crazy right Pam? "
"You damn right girl" I rolled my eyes at the both of them cheesing.
"I'm not in love. I'm just empathic".

*Jamari*

Here I was beside my mama's grave. A nigga don't know how he feels right now. Too many emotions all at once. I place the single rose flower I brought. This is the only place I find sanity on my birthday.
I have so many thoughts going on in my  head. I just wish my mama was here. I'm sure I would be a happy person. Her passing was the beginning of all my misery. My pops used me as a dumpster. He emptied his frustrations into me. My grandma said he put my mom through stress while she was pregnant for me. He wasn't much of a faithful guy. He's been a backstabber since day one.
He never celebrated my birthday as a child. Nana would throw a little party at her place for me. I love her so much for that. But at the same tine I was hurt. I would never forget those hurtful words he'd use on me from the early hours of my birthday, till night.
He said he loved me. Pathetic liar. He'd bruise my ego and hurt my feelings as a young boy. He made a monster outta me. Leaving for college was when I gained freedom from all that. But I am still attached to the pain it brought.
"I love you mom. I need you so bad"
Straightening up from my squatting position, I turned around to head back to my car. I've been here since morning. My body was aching and I was hungry as hell.
Walking towards where I parked I send as I thought of the birthday wishes I got from my niggas and my lil sister. It reduced the hurt, a bit. Fake as blog sites did same too. I didn't care tho. They're fake as fuck. I hate anything fake. So I only showed appreciation to those who deserved it.
"I see you came to pay respect to your mother." Beside my car stood my dead beat father. Surprisingly, his dumb ass wife didn't show up.
"Of course. Why wouldn't I. Move away from my car dude"
I wasn't ready for his bullshit. He irritated the hell outta me. He let out a dry chuckle.
"Happy birthday son" he opened up his arms. He must be loco if he thinks I'm gonna hug him. Nigga be so delusional.
I stepped away from him and opened my car door to step inside.
"The company's gala comes up in three weeks. As the CEO's son, you have to be present. Come with a plus one. "
"Whatever" with that being said I drove off.

I stepped into my crib and who did I see? Lil man Benjamin. Don't tell me Luna is still here. Its late.

"Stop looking at me nigga, creepy ass. Go do what dogs do" I walked around him walking further into the house.
I headed for the kitchen to dismiss Luna. I should have told her to take the day off again. I told her to do so the first time cos, it was gonna be awkward as hell for us after what went down the day before. I didn't regret kissing her one bit, but I didn't want the tension to be high.
Stepping into the kitchen I can't believe what I see.
"Happy birthday" Luna said softly with a gorgeous smile on her face. Candles were lit. There was good ass food on the table. A bottle of wine with two glasses. Everything was arranged real simple, but yet beautiful. Wow. I didn't see this coming.
"Uhm I didn't know today was your birthday. I kinda found out later from Tania. I just wanted to do a lil something for you. I hope you don't mind" Luna spoke up again since I haven't been able to say anything. I don't celebrate my birthday. I don't want anybody doing anything for me. But right now, none of that mattered.
"Wow. Uhm, this is nice? " I said more like a question. Luna pulled out a seat for me.
"Well, let's enjoy your birthday dinner shall we?" I nodded and walked towards her. After I was seated, she walked to sit on the seat opposite me.
"I thought it'd be nice if we used the dining table today"
"That's dope" I answered her. Everything got me smiling.
"Alright so there's some special Luna steak, mashed potatoes with some oxtail stew, greens and all that. Dessert  would come right after" Luna said pointing at the food.
"What we having for dessert?" I was curious. If she's about to do a strip tease
and all that, I'm so down.
"Let's start with this shall we. When its desert tine, I'd bring out dessert." I licked my lips as I listened to her. I could sense that she was a bit tensed up.
After serving me a little bit of everything, I dug in.
The burst of flavors in my mouth was mind blowing. Luna really out did herself.
"This is so so good Luna" she blushed as she sipped some of her wine.
"Thanks. Its all to celebrate your birthday. Its all about you today"
"I appreciate you. Thanks for being so thoughtful."
"Its the least I could do"

We were finally done and Luna went into the kitchen to bring desert.
"Here you go "
Well, I was kinda disappointed that it was just a regular dessert. But then it looked good.

"Mmm" Luna moaned as she ate some of her dessert. Damn she so sexy, without even trying.

Luna and I sat at the balcony attached to my room. Talking and drinking wine.
She was really good company. She's funny, happy and just filled with so much positive energy. She's got a really banging body also. I'm attracted to her in so many ways. It was real easy to talk to her. I told her about my childhood and she shared about hers too. We kinda had similar issues, but different outcomes. My mom passed, but her mom just left for some rich nigga. I told her why I don't celebrate my birthday.
"You don't have to be too hard on yourself Jamari. You deserve happiness. Don't blame yourself for stuff you didn't do. Be thankful for each day, live it to the fullest and everything else would fall into place. The universe hasn't gotten rid of you because it needs you. Family and friends need you. I need you...to pay me tho."
I laughed at Luna's crazy self. She thinks the paychecks changed her life. If I could just have my way with her, I'd give her some life changing dick.
"Shut up. You know I rock your world"
"Nigga you wish" she playfully rolled her eyes.
"Thanks Luna. You're an amazing human. You made my day today"
"Really? " she beamed.
"Maybe a lil bit" she smacked her lips and sipped from her glass.
"I should get going. Its really late now."
"No. Stay here. Please " I found myself begging her to stay. I don't wanna be alone. But I ain't gonna tell her that.
"Alright "

After we had showered individually, Luna laid beside me in one of my jerseys. We were both tipsy. We weren't talking much, but nothing was awkward.
I turned and starred at her. She did same.
I placed my palm on her face and pulled her in for a kiss.
Even tho we had kissed before, it was like we were kissing for the first time.
Our lips moved in sync as we tongue kissed. I savoured the taste of her mouth.
She placed her hand on my chest as she kissed me back. I kissed her chin down to her neck. She let out a small moan. I was trying so hard to control myself. I returned back to her lips as my hand  found its way to her ass cheeks.
Before I could deepen what was going on, Luna removed her lips from mine.
"Good night" she said while yawning.
You gotta be kidding me. This girl just slept on me. She cuddled into my chest, lifted my hand from her ass and placed it on her waist.
"You gotta be kidding me"

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