Destined

Chapter 5 - Talks and Solutions

Just as I entered my home, Mom came rushing to me. "Where in the world have you been, Ally?" She yelled, obviously concerned. 

"I, uh, I was just walking around in the park." I lied, trying my best to fight back the tears. The last thing I want is to cry infront of Mom and have her unnecessarily worry about me.

Mom watched me for a second or two and then my hand caught her hawk like attention and she gasped. I looked at her and realised that she was looking straight at my right hand. There were still traces of blood on my hand, some of the blood had dried on my fingernails. 

"Again Alicia? What has gotten into you? You have been acting like this for a few days now. I am your mother, I have the right to know everything that is going on in your life!" She shouted at me, her cheeks flaming up.

I couldn't stand before her any longer knowing that I was going to break down infront of her so I walked past her, my shoulder bumped into her arm but I kept walking anyways, and entered the living room. There on the couch, sat my 7-year old brother, Andrew. He was giggling while watching Spongebob Squarepants on Nickelodeon. It was clear that he was pretending he hadn't heard what Mom said, or more like yelled.

"Hello." He said as a toothy grin plastered his face. 

I ignored him and entered my bedroom. I threw my bag on my bed and took off my white converse shoes before laying on the bed. I closed my eyes and buried my face into my pillow, trying to calm myself when I hear a voice inside my head. Deep, calm and soothing. It was Austin's voice. I felt like he was near me, maybe right beside me on my bed and I heard the same words he said to me earlier in my head. It felt like he was whispering right in my ear. I could imagine him smile as he whispered those words.

'Whenever you get mad, take a deep breath, it actually helps you to cool down.' 

I breathed in a large amount of air and then breathed out. Doing this a few more times actually helped me feel more relaxed. I smiled, my eyes still closed. I slowly sat up as the events of today registered into my mind.

'So you're sad because of him?! Are you serious? You're crying because he left you?!' 

That's what he had said and that had pissed me off. I thought he was calling me a crybaby, a person who depended on others and for some reasons, I felt offended. But now, his questions seemed all true.  

1. Yes, I was sad because of him. 

2. Yes, I was serious. 

3. Yes, I was crying becaus he left me. 

I guess I had poured all my anger at Max on Austin. It all seemed so wrong. If it weren't for Austin, I would have never found out Max's reality. I should be thanking him for helping me in the McDonald's that day and for being with me today. He deserved an apology and two thank you's from me.

I was distracted by the soft knock on my door. I turned my head to see Mom's head poking out of the door. "Can I come in?" She asked.

"Mom, you don't have to ask. Just barge in." I said, not able to look her in the eye because I was ashamed of myself for being such a brat, for causing so much trouble.

Mom pushed open the door and sat on the edge of my bed. She took my hand and placed it on her's, just like the way Austin did, and started applying a cold, white cream on my wounds. I'm guessing the cream will close my wounds. 

"I am sorry." Mom said and I looked in her eyes. Her eyes were moist and I knew she was almost going to cry. 

"I'm sorry for shouting at you, Ally. But how do you expect me to react? Just a few days ago, you were perfectly fine, your loud voices filled the house and then, suddenly you start to spend all day in your room doing nothing. You haven't even stepped out of the house to meet Jessica or Maria and you are not even answering their messages or their calls and then you have also been doing that bad habit of yours again. How many times have I told you not to bang your hand in the wall? I thought your bad habit was gone. And today, you left home without telling anyone and you come back home with your hand bruised, again." She sighed heavily.   

"Ally, you can always tell me about your problems. I can help you solve them." She looked at me, her eyes begging me to tell her what's wrong. I really wanted to spill everything out so that she could stop worrying about me and so that I could get rid of the hollowness I've been feeling in me for days. I opened my mouth to tell her everything, but no words came. I didn't want talk about him now, not even to my mother. I sighed.  

"Mom, I don't have the energy to say anything now but I promise you I will tell you everything very soon." I said. 

Mom's expressions grew sadder and then she said "That's perfectly fine, Ally. You can tell me about your problems whenever you want but promise me one thing. You will not hurt yourself anymore. Is that clear?" I smiled and said 

"Yes, Mom."  

She smiled back at me and bent down to kiss my forehead. She got up and went to turn off the lights as she said "Goodnight."  

I replied "Goodnight, Mom." The door of my room closed and I was surrounded by the familiar darkness. I reached for my bag and took out my mobile. There were more than thirty missed calls from Maria and Jess and a few unread messages. I didn't want to go through all of them right now so instead I wrote one short message:

Hi Jess and Maria. How are you guys? I'm sorry for not replying to your messages and answering your calls. Promise will explain everything to you the next time we meet ok? Goodnight :) and I love you guys. I seriously do.

After sending the message to Jess and Maria, I placed my mobile under my pillow and closed my eyes. Slowly, I drifted off to sleep . . .