The Exile's Daughter

No Turning Aside

"How did that go last time you tried it? Don't you remember me finding you in a ditch?"

"A ditch?" I questioned before I could stop myself. Aragorn's grey eyes met mine for a few seconds.

"I was out of my depth, took on too many enemies and got hurt. It happens even to the most experienced of warriors".

Elladan and Elrohir had horses with them and began to hand over their reigns so we could reach Rivendell quickly, but everybody looked around, distracted from their tasks, as I spoke up.

"That's a risk I'll have to take, then".

"What?" Aragorn asked incredulously, completely distracted.

"I will have to risk being out of my depth. I'm coming with you" I drew myself up and held my ground, keeping my resolve even as the others looked sceptically on. I must have looked a fool, so small and slender compared to them, but I moved not an inch, staring determinedly around each of them, even holding Halbarad's steady gaze for a few seconds.

"I know we won't be able to complete your training, but you're getting so good now" Aragorn said eventually, stepping forward and setting his hands on my shoulders. "Elrond and Glorfindel will help you."

"You know very well I am not talking about training" I insisted. "You know what my doom is as well as I. Perhaps you even share in it a little, given what you yourself are destined to become. Our paths converge, Aragorn, I am sure of it. You may not yet be able to take up your appointed place in this world, but it is time that I did. I am to aid men in what way I can. This is what I am supposed to do!"

"I cannot guarantee your safety" Aragorn said. His grey eyes, usually calm and stern, were full of trepidation. He fiddled restlessly with a frayed thread hanging from his worn brown coat. "We would miss you, you know that, but both of us would rather you be safe and well. If you come with us, you may never return."

"Don't you think I know that?" I asked, my voice rising a little, then lowering to a hiss. "You saw what they did when you first found me. I know very well what the consequences of this venture may be. Probably far more than you realise." My would-be rapist flashed in front of my eyes. I knew that was what it was called now, what one of those accursed men had wanted to do. I had cried for an hour when I came across the term while reading, but I could not bear to tell a worried Legolas why I was so upset, preferring instead to sit in silence while he comforted me confusedly.

Rancid breath and cruel laughter.

The memory was as real as if I was back in those few desperate moments. The choice had been simple - a second to run, or hours of torment. I had never said more than a few words about that terrible night, not even to Legolas who I trusted above all others in Middle Earth. He did not know what had almost been done, and I doubted I would ever speak of it. Even thinking about it sent a surge of panic into my heart, but I forced the criminal out of my mind, focusing on the others.

"Let her come" I whipped around, surprised by Legolas' unexpected support. Aragorn wore a similar expression, and Legolas continued. "She's been saying ever since we found those footprints that something fell would come of them, and now she is proved right. She was also right in saying that they were made by orcs, and you know as well as I that she's about as prepared for battle as she will ever be without real experience of it. You and I cannot teach her of the fear of fighting an opponent that really will kill her if she makes a mistake. You need someone with her instincts. We cannot shield her forever, Aragorn."

Aragorn seemed to waver for a second, then sighed. "He is right, Nesseldë. I cannot pretend that you are not needed. You may come with us, but please, I know it is not always possible to do so, but for the love of the Valar, just be careful."

I walked up to my dearest friends and fluttered my fingers faintly against first Aragorn's cheek, then Legolas's. "I will". I said simply "I can hardly be of any use to men dead, now, can I?"

The two of them smiled grudgingly. I turned to Elladan and Elrohir, who had watched the exchange in silence. Elrohir sighed. "Persuading him is harder than taking on a troll with a teaspoon. Trust me, I speak from experience"

I knew exactly who he spoke of. "Lord Elrond cannot interfere with fate. I am my own person, free to come and go as I please."

"Then we will see you soon, little cousin". Elladan grinned a little sadly and ruffled my hair. I frowned at him grumpily and shook it back into place, but returned his heavy smile.

"Be careful." I told them quietly. Elrohir took my right hand in both of his and raised it to his lips. They both bowed solemnly then turned to stand beside Halbarad.

"We should get back", Legolas said, holding out his hand courteously to help me onto the closest horse. Aragorn mounted the other while Legolas settled himself behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist so I could control the horse. It seemed even this urgent moment was an opportunity to practice newly learned skills.

"Go on ahead", Aragorn was saying to Halbarad and the twins. "We will join you as soon as possible. In the meantime, muster everyone you can find. Any Dúnedain you see on your way North must come to us, and if you can, try and find Gandalf. If we are greatly outnumbered, I fear he may be our last hope."

"Indeed. Hopefully he is still in these parts, or perhaps he will hear of our plight somehow." Halbarad sighed. We turned away from the grim man and the dark-haired brothers beside him, but as Aragorn and I began to spur the horses on, there was a shout from behind us.

"Wait, my lady!"

I turned our horse so Halbarad could talk. "If I understand correctly, you offer to risk your life for my people." I nodded.

"It is my doom to aid men at this time of growing darkness. I am tasked with this grim fight even as you are".

"I don't even know your name", he frowned. I smiled slightly.

"Nesseldë."

To my surprise, Halbarad's eyes widened in recognition. "We have been searching for the men who hurt your family, my kin and I. I only wish we had something concrete to tell you, but so far there is nothing."

My stomach plummeted at the mention of the killing of my family, but I supressed my urge to lower my eyes away from Halbarad's, answering him steadily. "I am grateful for your help, more grateful than I can say. Now we must focus not on the dead, but the living who are at risk of joining them. Do you see, now, that I must fight alongside you? I must help stem the tide of enemies before more orphaned daughters join me in my grief."

"You will be more than welcome among my people, Lady Nesseldë", Halbarad smiled slightly, bowing his head. I half smiled back.

"Thank you. I only hope I can help them, before we are all overwhelmed." 

AM