[minatozaki sana]
I always thought of the word marriage as something that always fails in the end. It's what I witnessed while growing up, from my parents' divorce, my friends' love affairs, my boss's abusive relationship, to the movies I watched and the books I have read. Not that they all fail, but the majority of them did.
And so the moment he knelt in front of me, on the center of the four corners of my room's veranda, when he asked me to marry him, I didn't know what to feel next after the slight skipping of my heartbeat.
In those six years we've been together, I have loved this man more than I could ever love myself. In all those years, he treated me the way I deserved to be treated, and I did the same to him. We had glorious history; I could even imagine my future with him.
But I wonder why, in this moment of truth, I felt so afraid. For the first time, I hesitated on him; like something within me was holding back. And probably, the biggest mistake I ever made was ignoring that feeling.
"Yes! Yes, Mark. I will." I replied, "I will marry you." There was tears on my eyes, with utter happiness painted on my face. My body reacted a little faster before I could ever think clearly.
He stood up, put the ring on my finger and motioned himself closer to kiss me, like the happiest man he was that time.
He announced it immediately as we ran downstairs, my family was there, his family was there, my friends were there, and his too. Like, in an instant, we had our engagement party that night.
Mark was rather too excited, he wanted the wedding to happen immediately, like, in four months time, he said. And everyone just agreed. Her mother, Mrs. Maurice, wanted me to pack my things because I'm going to be living with them from now on, in the Tuan Family's mansion. She said we're going to be planning for the wedding all day long and we don't have any time to spare.
My father was already pushing me away, he too, is so excited to the said wedding. And Mr. Rosslyn, my soon to be father-in-law, was giving me looks, like a proud father he is, finally having one of his sons get married. It looked like he was thanking me, so I bowed my head as a response, and he smiled after.
The whole night, Mark and I just-- slow danced, under the slightly dim lights on our living room, with our families and friends watching us. It was a very spectacular moment of my life, and my worries a while ago just vanished. It's real, it's happening. I'm getting married to the love of my life.
The day after the celebration, I had already moved in with the Tuans. I quit my job and focused on planning my wedding along with Mark's mother, his twin sister Marklyn, and sometimes his cousins Tzuyu and Yuqi, whilst Mark stayed burried on his job as his father's research assistant temporarily for a major project. He worked his ass off, going off an hour earlier before I even wake up, and then going home before I fall asleep.
Somehow, I got used to it. And as the days went on and the wedding day gets nearer and nearer, that feeling I felt on the engagement party was growing much deeper inside my chest. And again, I ignored it. Even if what I was doing felt so wrong, I shrugged it all off and forced myself to just be happy and look forward to that big day ahead of us.//
YOU ARE READING
don't wanna cry 》jeongsa (hiatus)
Short Storythis is a story, of how i met her for the second time, after ten years, when we're both 28. this is just her, who is constantly crying, night after night, on the corners of my room, to which i would wipe her tears, and send her to sleep, until she's...
