hey hi hello my name is sarah and i am a loud breather.
i get how this can be annoying for people because i get annoyed when other people do it too.
but i'll be standing next to my friends and then out of nowhere they'll be like, "sarah shut the fuck up you're breathing so loud"
and i'm just here like, "i hAVE TO BREATHE TO LIVE SO IF YOU WANT AN A ON THIS PROJECT I SUGGEST YOU LET ME BREATHE IN PEACE"
and like two years ago i had to go to the hospital to get breathing tests done bc it was irregular and stuff and one was this really awkward breathing test where i was like in this box thing and there was this really attractive guy to meet with the doctor after me, yet he came early and got to watch me get yelled at for not doing the fucking thing right
then there was a medicine test, where i basically got back in the box again and they made me test different kinds of medicine so i could've died like you dont know
and last but definitely least, there was, the EXERCISE TEST
okay so first off i was wearing the most awkward sweatpant / sweater combination and they made me run on a treadmill for six minutes
the actual running part wasn't that bad, but i was so scared (bc i had never used a treadmill before and i hurt myself with one when it wasnt even on) that i would fall off like in all of those failarmy videos
so the doctor made this BRIL*sarcasm*LIANT SUGGESTION THAT SHE STANDS ON THE BACK OF THE TREADMILL SO I DONT FALL OFF
AND BAM! GUESS WHO DECIDES TO SHOW UP? ATTRACTIVE GUY!
AND I'M JUST THERE, LOOKING AS UNATTRACTIVE AS FUCK WHILE I STILL HAVE THREE MINUTES ON THE TIMER WEARING MY UGLY GREY SWEATPANTS AND OLD TURQUOISE SWEATER WITH THE DOCTOR ON THE BACK OF THE TREADMILL TO KEEP ME FROM FALLING
and they did nothing about my breathing
and that, mon amis, is why i stay in bed with my laptop and giraffe pyjamas
