Dappled light shon down through the trees, and a weak breeze haunted the air. It seemed to touch everything in sight, as both the flowers and the trees swayed in unison, appearing to be dancing to an unheard melody. The quiet trickling of water and the song of morning birds filled the air, along with the faint giggling and laughter of a young girl. Her long blonde hair flew and twirled freely behind her as she ran, each individual strand intertwining and dancing with another. A smile illuminated her face as she twisted and turned through the trees, her once porcelain and sallow features now rosy red, and her eyes alive and bright. Her dress, once an immaculate white satin gown, was now torn and muddied; and her shoes no longer harboured the shine she had worked so labouriously to give them.
***
"It will not be allowed out of the house, or be seen with you. It will never know who you are."
Light tried in vain to stream in in through the dusty window, but was blocked by a thick blanket of cobwebs; so only a tiny amount managed to push through. The curtains framing the window were hardly curtains at all, only ragged pieces of moth-eaten material, hanging limply from the windowframe. Untouched, the room was filled with old furniture, covered up by grey-cream sheets, evidently unused for years. At the back of the room, hidden in the corner, was the only sign of life the room had seen for a decade. A wooden cradle, dimly illuminated by the light from the window, stood alone and silent. Dust flitted in the light above it, falling and twirling in the air, making patterns. Totally lost in its own world.
A creak broke the silence.
The door gradually opened, and I took cautious footsteps towards the cradle. I paused for a moment, taking a breath, trying to calm myself and stop the tears from cascading down my face. Carefully placing my hands on the sides of the cradle, I closed my eyes. Bending over I took another breath, then opening my eyes, I took in what lay below. A tiny face stared back up at me, almost smiling; its features perfect and untouched. Its eyes were bright and piercing blue, and they looked right into me. I knew that it knew me. But I had to believe what I had been told. This was my sister.
***
Everything around her was becoming a blur, and her breaths were becoming shorter and more frequent now, so she slowed her pace. As she stopped, her chest heavy, she looked all around her; just taking in the freedom and sheer wild beauty of the landscape, all so entirely different to what she was used to. Her whole life she had spent cooped up behind four walls, four white, plain walls, where everything was perfect and had purpose and reason. Here, she thought to herself, was the real world. Beyond purpose, beyond reason, where nothing else mattered but the rise and fall of the sun, and the distant swaying of the trees and branches. She sat down on the ground, and ran her hands through the fallen autumnal leaves, feeling them run between her fingers. She clenched her fist and listened as they crunched together, and eventually ground down and dissappeared into nothing. She smiled, and took another handful, this time tossing them in the air, watching them gently glide down back to earth, admiring the shades of red, brown and orange they so perfectly demonstrated.
***
Muffled sobs could be heard through the wall.
"Shut her up will you?"
The voice of the old woman was like a knife through my heart, just as it had been all those years ago.
I stood up, nodded, and walked out of the room. Opening the door, I sighed and prepared myself for what I was about to do. I took slow steps towards the small child sitting in the corner, curled up in a ball, swaying from side to side. It was just like the day when I had first set eyes on her, only this time it was worse. Much worse. Trembling, I raised a hand towards her.
"Oi, scum!"
The words felt so wrong.
The girl turned her head towards me, her eyes red and streaming, her cheeks already raw.
"Please don't, Mary, please! You're my sister..."
Her stammering voice hit me hard. I could see the desparation in her eyes, the pain. I couldn't do this to her...
But yet, I had to. If I didn't, my grandmother would tell them. Tell everyone.
I raised my hand that bit higher, and gritted my teeth.
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
***
The scars were still visible, and the marks were still red, but in the bright sunshine they seemed that bit less sorrowful, that bit less harsh. As she sat by the river, she thought of her grandmother and her sister, thought of the life she had left behind. That was history now. All that mattered now was what she saw before her. Water lapped at her now bare feet, and the sensastion felt good. It made her feel safe, feel alive. She watched as the water carried twigs and leaves downstream, and thought of all the places that the current could be taking them. Perhaps they were making their escape too. The sunshine reflected off the water, creating bright white bursts of light on its surface, like fallen stars dancing in the sky.
There was a crack.
Gasping, she turned around to see the origin of the noise.
"Lily! Lily!"
She recognised the voice in an instant.
Scrambling to her feet, and without even thinking of putting her shoes back on, she started to run. She had to get away.
Twigs and rocks scratched the soles of her feet with every step, and she could feel the mud between her toes. Her footsteps were no longer the only ones in the wood, and she could hear her sister chasing her from behind. She had to run faster, but however hard she tried, she just couldn't seem to run fast enough. She was out of breath now, and every step was taking more and more out of her. Looking behind her, she could see the familiar shape of her sister, she hadn't given up either. No doubt she wanted to grab her, to take her back to the house, take her back to "where she belonged". She couldn't go back. She'd suffered enough. Turning her head back around she didn't notice what was in front of her. She stumbled and fell, landing face first in the dirt. Trying to scramble to her feet, the girl slipped again. There was no hope now. Sitting on the floor of the wood, she began to cry. Her only chance of escape, ruined.
A few seconds passed.
She felt a hand on her shoulder.
***
I could feel her trembling under me.
"It's okay," I reassured her, "It's only me."
It seemed almost comical to me, that I was saying this. After all the years she had suffered under my hand, that I should be the one to reassure her, to make her feel safe; it just seemed so ridiculous. She seemed to calm a little though, and looked up at me, those piercing blue eyes looking into me, just as they had done all those years before.
"Don't make me go back."
Her words couldn't have been more sincere. I didn't hesitate.
"I'll never make you go back, I promise."
Her eyes became confused. Evidently she didn't understand why I wasn't forcing her, wasn't hurting her. She smiled for a moment, then her face fell.
"You're lying to me, aren't you? Trying to make me feel better so I'll agree to come back with you?"
The look of realisation on her face bore into me.
"No, of course I'm not, I'd never-"
"Yes you are, why did I ever believe you for a moment?" Tears were pouring down her face again, "I could never trust you, you've never been a sister to me and you never, ever will be!"
She struggled once more and managed to break free. I let her go.
She started to walk in the opposite direction. I couldn't just leave her.
"Could you trust your mother?"
She froze and slowly turned back around.
She nodded.
I took in a deep breath, the fresh air filling my lungs.
"Then trust me."
