incarcerated

8.

eddy groaned and laid his head on his desk, relishing the way the cool wood felt against his warm skin. he was absolutely exhausted.

"tell me," brett said.

the warden raised his head again and ran his hands down his face forcefully, trying to wake himself up. the long nights were hitting him hard and all he wanted to do was sleep.

"his name was trevor," eddy began, the pain visible in his eyes. brett resisted the urge to reach out and touch his hand to comfort him, settling for picking at the frayed edges of the arm of his seat.

"and?" brett said, trying his best not to sound impatient. a heavy silence filled the air as eddy avoided eye contact, pursing his lips and staring intently at a random spot on his desk.

"i don't even know what happened, really. he was put in here because of a technicality. i knew that he didn't belong in here just like i know that you don't, but i hadn't worked here as long then and i kept my mouth shut."

the trembling of eddy's hands was visible as he clenched and unclenched his fists repeatedly, knuckles turning to white and then back to tan over and over. brett chewed his bottom lip nervously. maybe this was a bad idea. neither of them spoke for an uncomfortably long time before eddy's voice cut through the silence like a sharp knife through a feather pillow.

"he died, brett. i sat and i didn't utter a single word to him while i watched him get worse and worse. he looked healthy when he got here and he left this place in a body bag, skin and bone. it was my fault. i can't let that happen to you," the warden sighed deeply, blinking hard.

   what brett did next was the most daring thing he'd done in his lifetime. he gave into the urge to touch eddy's hand, laying his small fingers atop the other man's and stroking them gently. eddy flinched when their skin touched, the contrasting temperatures and gentleness surprising him.

    "i'm so sorry, eddy," brett mumbled. the use of the warden's name turned his face and ears bright red. it sounded so beautiful in brett's voice.

    "it's, uh," eddy cleared his throat, "it's not your fault. i just... i can't. i can't let that happen again."

    "you can't keep trying to protect me," brett sighed. eddy glanced at their hands on the desk as brett's cool fingers ran across his knuckles over and over again. the simple touch was intoxicating to eddy; no one had ever done anything like that to him. especially not a prisoner.

    "i don't know what to do, brett. how can i help you without making things worse?"

    the prisoner continued to stroke the warden's calloused hand as he thought of an answer to his impossible question. silence filled the room once again, but it was thoughtful this time instead of overwhelmingly tense. they sat without talking for awhile. neither of them minded the silence and brett was trying to think anyways.

    a knock on the door prohibited brett from ever finding that answer. he jerked his hand away from eddy's and crossed his arms, glancing fearfully at the door.

    "what?" eddy said, visibly annoyed. his tone had changed completely from the last time he spoke.

    "it's hernandez, sir. roberts and dalton got into it again."

    the warden rolled his eyes. the two inmates that hernandez was referring to had been fighting constantly for weeks despite eddy's desperate attempts to keep them apart.

    "where are they?" he demanded. brett flinched at the hardness of his tone.

    "carmley's office. i told him i'd come get you, sir. they've busted each other up pretty bad."

    eddy huffed and pushed his hair out of his face, checking the time. it was only 3:01 and there'd already been a fight. the warden stood up and turned to brett.

    "i have to go look into this. stay in here for a minute after i leave and then go back to bed," he said, the coldness returning to his voice and demeanor.

    brett did as he was told and waited in the warden's office for what was probably too long after he'd walked out the door and shut it behind him. walking quickly, he made his way back to his bunk without a problem and sat down slowly on his bed.

    memories of their conversation flooded brett's tired brain and made it impossible for him to go to sleep. the revelation of eddy's previous issue with trevor had made brett's stomach feel funny in a way that he didn't understand. was it pity, maybe? sorrow? empathy? he didn't know.

shouting from somewhere in the prison interrupted brett's thought process. it was definitely eddy's voice mixed with a few others, which scared brett more than he expected it to. he assumed that it was an issue involving the inmates mentioned previously in eddy's office and found himself hoping that the warden was okay.

sighing softly, brett crawled under his blanket and frowned. it was too thin and smelled nothing like the one in eddy's office that the smaller man had slept so soundly under each time he'd had the chance. he fell asleep with the warden on his mind and his hands wrapped tightly around the cheap fabric.