Female Alpha Lucinda

Separation Does Suck

Lucinda POV

The next day flew in the blink of an eye. After we returned from the date, Zaliver followed me into my bedroom and we both fell asleep in my bed. Let's say it was the most blissful sleep I have ever had. But sadly he was gone when I woke up in the morning. I guess it's something to do with if someone saw him coming out with me from my room, especially Lillian. 

All throughout the day, I had Lillian getting me to answer all her questions about what happened. I kept telling her that nothing happened and only we talked but she wasn't having it. Oliver, thank god, did get rid of her to give me peace. Gosh if something did happen, I'm sure I wouldn't have gotten up the normal time or there would have been a mark on my neck. 

I also visited River down in his own office by the training grounds. Yep, he was released from the hospital in the morning. Jupiter was with him when he was released. He got back straight into his usual routine and checked on how it's been going on. We only talked and I just left him to it.

Jupiter and Michual were getting closer to each other, I noticed. Little sidewards glances and you always find them together. I guess they will tell us when they are ready. But I will say they look so good with each other.

I was working in my office in the early evening when a knock on my door. "Come in", I shouted. I looked up when the door opened and in walked Zaliver. "Zal. What can I help you with?" I put down my pen and he took a seat in front of me.

"As you know, I leave to go back to my home in the morning," I nodded and kept a straight face. "I just want to ask you one more time, in person, to change your mind about coming with me."

I shucked in a breath. I kept eye contact with his own and with little hesitation I responded with, "I'm sorry. My answer is still no."

"Okay." He nodded sadly, eyes cast down that they no longer looked upon mine. I felt my heart sink a bit.

"Come on, let's go down to join the pack dinner," I say and get up from my chair. He has lifted his head to watch me come round the desk. When I reached him, I held out my hand that he took in a reflex way. Little sparks flew up my arm and I'm sad to say I will miss that feeling.

We both headed out of the room and down to the dining room. When we both entered, the pack fell silent and bowed their heads in respect. I took my usual seat in the middle of the top table with Zaliver on my left and Oliver on my right. It looked like Oliver allowed Lillian to sit next to Zaliver for only this evening. They both chatted to each other all the time we were eating. Oliver was too busy chatting to both Jupiter and Michual. I looked around the tables of my pack. Watching them chat and interact with each other brings a smile on my face. With all the hard times that we had, they can still be happy and joyful. I guess they would be fine without me. I had to talk to Oliver tonight. So, I nudged Ollie and told him to meet me in my room after he had eaten.

I had finished eating before the boys and I swiftly exited the dining room. I did feel specific eyes on me when I left. I slowly made my way up the stairs to my room and changed into a loose-fitting top and bottoms.

I would guess it was about 10 minutes later when Oliver knocked on the door and entered. I'm just browsing on my phone on top of my bed. When he entered, I sat up and beckoned him to sit on my bed. We used to do this in the past and talk about our problems in personal life or how annoying Devon was. In which I needed right now. Oliver sat on the empty side of the bed and just looked at me. "Come on. What's the matter?" He asked. Was it that obvious?

"I don't know what to do?" I flopped back onto the covers.

"I need more than that Lucie. Tell me." I glanced at him. He had his eyebrows raised.

"Zaliver and I are mates and I told him that I'm not going to go with him back to his home. But the way he looked at me back in the office this evening and then chatting non stop with Lillian is having me second guess myself."

"Ah, I see. I feel you are in the same boat as I and Lillian were in, well not the same. I had to leave her at the Royal pack and all the time being away, let me tell you separation sucked. I guess it wasn't that bad because we didn't exactly spend much time with each other. Plus we are older than you so our wolves were not calling for each other. And maybe was too busy thinking about saving the pack from rogues. But the two of you have been around each other for a while and both have Alpha blood run through both of you and since he is a King. It would be suckier." The way Ollie put it sounded like I was being selfish and taking away something that Zaliver would want me. Also, we would become unhappy without each other. Then over time maybe we become depressed, if we don't see each other often.

"Ollie, what about the pack? We all just returned to normal for one day and then I would leave them. Would you want to step up and lead? Would Lillian want to be Luna around here?" I ask.

"If that is also bothering you, then you really need to have faith in the people around you. I have been loyal to your family and the pack. I will stand behind whatever you choose. If I and Lillian are to step into the Alpha and Luna position which is to be our fate, so be it. But I do feel that it's another reason for you to hold back."

"If I go with him and as he is a king and my mate, I would have to take the role of the Queen. I only wanted to lead a pack but not a whole nation. Not only that, but I also don't feel that I want to leave my life here. This is the only place I call home and what I feel comfortable." By now, I am sitting cross-legged on my bed and Ollie is not moving from his spot.

"Lucie, you would rock at being Queen. Look at you leading the second-highest pack in the nation and risking your life for our pack. What more do you want in the quality of a Queen." I sighed and nodded at his comments."I'll leave with your thoughts. I'll say this though, I think your parents would want you to move on from here and live your life with your mate. You know how much they loved each other and would want you to have that chance of that kind of love. Think about yourself for once and what would make you happy." With that, he got up from his spot on the bed and walked out of the room.

I stayed as I am for who knows how long. Taking in what Ollie said to me and what my life decision should be. If I leave, I will leave behind everything I know: pack, friends and the familiar environment. If I stay, Zaliver wouldn't be here and he makes me happy now. But everything would be new to me.

What to do? What to do indeed?