Reverse

chapter 8

"Hey, pass the ball to me, you nitwit!"

The air smells like dust, and my clench my fist and watch a couple of children playing around in the park. The frustration of not being able to play in the open air like that made me bite my check so hard, the metallic taste of blood startles me.

The old age home takes us all to frequent park visits, from where we go to our regular health checkups. Usually, the results always provide me with good news, as my body is growing younger, it also means it's growing healthier.

I sit behind a bush and watch the day unfurl itself as the trees wave at me, almost mockingly. Hillary and her fellow supervisor sit in front of me on a bench, evidently oblivious to my presence. Layla is walking around the park, giggling and pointing at strangers, and Hillary's eyes follow her.

"Should I go and get Layla? I think she might be invading into some people's personal space here."

"No, no, let her be. The park is one of the few places that makes her happy. But, she seems to be glowing for the past year or so. I've also noticed that she's developed a rather close bond with the new one, Coral."

"Coral isn't that new, though, she's been here for around 3 years!"

"Yeah, but she's newer than the rest of them. And her relationship with Layla is a little, um, unprecedented. Everybody except Coral cannot seem to tolerate Layla's presence for more than a few hours, and here, they've almost spent 3 years together."

"Do you think...that Layla and Coral might be more similar than they seem?"

My heart almost stops, and I lean closer into their conversation.

"That's what I was getting at! We all know about Layla's mental health problems, and how the instability set in after her child died. Do you think something happened to Coral too, which caused her to become as mentally instable as Layla?"

"I don't know, I was the one who welcomed her here a few years ago, but her previous old age home gave us no information about her history."

"The checkups are anyway due today; I think it'll be a good idea to get Coral to see a psychologist. We'll ask the clinic if they can give her the same one as Layla, so someone can try to understand their relationship a little better."

"Layla's condition might be getting worse, yesterday, I found her talking to her own reflection in the mirror. We should consider keeping her in the psychology facility permanently now, so someone can keep an eye on her."

"It'll break Coral's heart if we send Layla away though."

"Not unless the psychologist decided to take in Coral too, with Layla."

The supervisor's voice trails off as the reality begins to set in. I am fast approaching a mental age of 13, and these people were going to make me visit a psychologist? I know already how that would end up. I'm not ready for this. The doctor would probably ask me dozens of questions about my past, and I, being a 13-year-old, am I just expected to assume the role of a grandmother and make up a traumatic past for myself? And worst of all, they think I'm mentally unstable. They think Layla's mentally unstable. Or wait, they know she is.

Things begin to set into my mind. Her immaturity, her childlike behaviour, all explain the reason to why we fit together so well. She had a terrible past, and now she's lost all control of herself. I don't know what to feel. A little bit of anger, and confusion but also relief, because I'm only a 13-year-old in the body of a 77-year-old. And I'm not mentally unstable. I hope.

Broodingly, I sit on the dried leaves, still behind the bush. I tentatively touch a brown leaf, and it turns into dust immediately. I can't help but think about how temporary everything is. I also need a way to get out the psychologist's appointment, otherwise they'd think I was as lost as Layla, and probably heavily medicate me, until all the blood in my body gets drained and...

I eye the group of old people from our old age home, as they all serenely sit and play cards in the grass. How boring. If I am to convince Hillary and her delusional supervisor that I'm not crazy, I would have to start hanging out with that group, where the normal old people did normal old people things and weren't weeping all day because they wanted to run through the wheat fields on a horse. But how can I put myself through that? They would probably drive me crazy, with their innate mundaneness. Even though I just found out that my best friend's mind is slightly messed up, I have fun with her. We fit together like pieces of jigsaw puzzle. And I can't let go of that.

Hillary claps her hands loudly to round us up. I pick myself up with some effort, and walk slowly towards our bus, which would take us to the clinic. I could run away, I think. But that wouldn't work either, with these ancient legs I wouldn't be able to get too far, and they would find me. Not to mention the fact that I wouldn't even last a day on my own. And after they find me, they would definitely think I am crazy, and they'd probably tie me up to some bed and leave me to rot.

Hospitals make me think all kinds ofthings.