My First Everything || Edit Mode

2-New life

-"Kim, you're my everything. You can't leave me like this. I'll go crazy. I need you, you're different, you make me different. You make me be myself. I love you so much, that's why I did it. It was to protect you. I want you to stay by my side until the day I die. Kim. You have to trust me on this" He cried as he grabs my hand

-"Jimin, you broke your own promise. I'm sorry"

Kim's POV- I walk out of his place and went to the nearest park for some fresh air. It was so dark, nobody is around. I felt some pressure on my shoulders, but nothing was on me. I felt like a river is going to come out from my eyes anytime soon. How awful was I back there? I should've listened to him. But why was I the only one that kept the promise that he made? Why. What is wrong with me. Am I that bad as a girlfriend? Was I boring to be with?

I think the thing that terrifies me most is that one day, you'll be the story I'll tell my daughter, when she's curled up in bed, wrapped in blankets and heartbreak, when she hasn't eaten anything in days but the voicemail he left her, when she hasn't been able to sleep because the goodbye that broke her shatters her bones all over again every time she closes her eyes. And I'll climb into her bed with her and she'll lay her head hand on my lap and I'll try to brush him out of her hair and her tears will soak through my shirt and I'll tell her about the boy I met when I was sixteen, who sat next to me in math class, who I fell in love with after two weeks, who saved me, who fucking destroyed me. And I'll tell her about how it hurt. It hurt so badly it almost killed me. It hurt so badly my mother stopped going to work so she could stay home and make sure I didn't take too many pills. And then I'll tell her about how it got better. How it stopped hurting. How I stopped bleeding. My mother went back to work. I got out of bed. But I won't tell her that sometimes I still have dreams about you and can hardly breathe the next day or about the pictures of you I have hidden in the attic.

Jimin's POV- Dammit, I really should've told her. Before getting out of hand. How stupid of me. I lost someone so precious to me because of a bet. Because of that bitch. If she didn't bring up a bet, this would never happen. My relationship with Kim is over because of me. If Kim can't forgive me. How can I forgive myself?

I called Namjoon to help me out. I know that if I am here by myself, I will do something really bad. I need someone. He came as quick as possible. But I already started to drink beer, but I thought it was to light. I switched to wine, too fancy. I went towards vodka, it wasn't the taste of bitterness that I felt. Then I thought of what my dad used to say "laughter may be the best medicine, but a good bottle of whiskey makes a good band-aid".

My body took my heavy body to my room, drop me on my back in the middle of my empty king bed. I turn my head around, I see the necklace that is supposed to keep our relationship alive. But seeing next to me and not on her, makes me want to punch myself in the face. Being in pain made me realize the worst type of crying is the silent one. The one when everyone is asleep. The one when where you feel it in your throat and your eyes become blurry from the tears. The one where you just want to scream. The one where you have to hold your stomach to keep quiet. The one where you can't breathe anymore. The one when you realize the person that meant the most to you is gone.

Kim's POV- It's been two years now. Every night. I think about him. I hate it. I really did think I would get over after a year or even sooner. I changed school, my friend told me to come with her. So I did. I used to live in Jimin's apartment, he always bought me gifts, flowers, clothing and so much more. But I kept them there. I didn't want to take them with me. If I did, it feels like I was using him for his money when I actually loved him. 

Moving on from someone you loved is a constant battle. It physically and mentally drains you because you're constantly fighting back memories and feelings. And that's why at 2 o'clock in the morning when I'm alone, I become weak. I'm so tired of fighting it. And then the memories come back and the longing returns and suddenly I want to pick up the phone and I want to be in his arms. But I can't do it. Because in the morning I'll have to go back to being strong again and I'll have to go back fighting it, and anyways a phone call wouldn't change anything...