Until you can't run anymore

Forget the part of me you think you know

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"What do you need?" Tyler said, blocking his view.

Josh stared at his legs, refusing to turn his head. Not like the street view was interesting or anything, he just didn't want to see the worried look on Tyler's eyes.

"Josh..."

"No."

"I can't... Josh, I can't force you to talk. But, you can't keep it in either", Tyler shook his head.

The way Josh shut down was getting worse day by day. Or maybe he was imagining it. He hoped he was.

He chewed his lip and glanced towards his corner. He didn't really care about working now, but he knew the clients would see him and just come there to him and Josh and that he didn't want either.

"Do you want me to leave?"

Josh didn't answer. He just stared at Tyler's jeans, wondering how was the fabric made. How many threads were used to a pair of jeans? How long would it take to make such pants? A fraction of someone's life. Literally a fraction, not matter how small it was.

"Josh."

"No", he sighed. And then the jeans disappeared from his vision and Tyler sat next to him.

"I hate this", Tyler mumbled. He didn't hate that Josh didn't speak. It was normal. He hated that he knew something was wrong, and Josh didn't admit it. He certainly acknowledged how hard it was but it only made it harder for him.

"What are you thinking?"

Josh sighed barely audibly. "The inevitable."

He felt stupid. But that wasn't new to him either.

"Do I need to guess again?" Tyler asked. He knew Josh wasn't going to give up and just open up like that, but there was no way he could just leave the issue.

"No. I hate your guessing", the other mumbled and flinched slightly. He had work to do and he didn't have time to think about it.

"Can I ask something?" Tyler said after a while when Josh kept quiet.

Josh knew that he could say no, as he did want, but Tyler would return back to the question later.

"Yeah."

Tyler let out a sigh, "I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

Josh couldn't prevent the tiny smile that tugged his lips. "And yet you do."

The other laughed knowing Josh wasn't being mean. To him, Josh had a lot to learn about other people, but even more about himself. And he wanted to help with that. But even now, as the smile faded from Josh's lips the coldness was back. The wall that surrounded Josh seemed only getting stronger day by day.

"So the question", Josh let out a sigh. He shouldn't have even encouraged Tyler, but he just wanted it done.

"Maybe I could talk with Alex?"

Josh shifted, feeling the panic already arise. It didn't need anything else and he knew if he couldn't stop it he would soon crumble down.

"I can't..."

Tyler rubbed his neck. He didn't know how to get through to Josh. He had tried everything.

"I just... You know it won't go away."