SCP Reader

SCP-050: To The Cleverest

Item #: SCP-050

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: So far, all attempts to contain SCP-050 have proven fruitless. At present, whoever has possession of SCP-050 is to leave it in an office they use with regularity.

Description: SCP-050 appears to be a statue of a monkey reading a book, approximately 1 foot tall. On the bottom of the statue are engraved the words "To The Cleverest" in cursive script.

The statue has so far proven resistant to all forms of damage. As such, there is no accurate method to date the object.

When left alone, SCP-050 has shown itself to be both useful and antagonistic to its current owner. Although never seen to move, no matter the manner or amount of recordings, any room it is left in becomes very clean, to a polish whenever possible. Paperwork is filed, trash is emptied, and in general, clutter is removed. However, SCP-050 also has a tendency to leave traps for its owner, so current holders should carefully check their offices upon returning.

Footnotes1. Testing to contain SCP-050 has been discontinued at this time.2. Attempts to leave SCP-050 in unused offices have resulted in it following its owner home. This is a violation of regulations and not to be allowed.3. One of the quirks of SCP-050 is that no matter what form of measurement is used, any record of said measurements will quickly be replaced by the Customary System measurements.4. Attempts to damage SCP-050 have resulted in increasingly lethal 'pranks.' As of this writing, destruction testing is discontinued.5. See Document 050

Document 050.

"The Great Researcher Prank War of '██"

On 01/██/20██, During an attempted capture of SCP-963 by Chaos Insurgency agents, Dr. Bright made use of 963's intrinsic capabilities to make fools of the attempted kidnappers. When Bright returned to his office, he found a monkey statue waiting for him. His office had been tidied in his absence, and everything filed away, which came as something of a shock for the naturally messy Dr. Bright.

Upon further investigation, it was found that — despite the apparent tidiness of his office — all of his pens had been drained of all but the last bit of ink, and several important documents had been translated into Aramaic.

Dr. Bright immediately began the usual testing of this new SCP, but found himself going nowhere, until Dr. Rights, as payback for something unspecified, smeared his desk with one half of a compound epoxy, and applied the other half of the compound to his utensils. At this point, SCP-050 vanished from Dr. Bright's office, reappearing in Dr. Rights' office, whereupon 050 began the cleanup again.

After several tests, it became apparent that SCP-050 was easily contained, as long as no one outside the Foundation proved to be cleverer than the Foundation scientists. Of course, this led to many of the Foundation scientists seeking to claim the title of 'Most Clever' for themselves.

And thus began the "Great Researcher Prank War of '██."