my life

fresh start

"Are you going to be okay? You better be nice to your aunt and listen to her. And please I am begging you help with her and clean the house even if she doesn't ask it do it, for me, please?" my mom begged while sitting in the passengers seat.

"Yes mom, I'm going to try it." I replied.

"No your not going to try your going to do as I say, understood?" she asked while shooting me a death glare.

All I could do was nod.
We are on our way to my aunts apartment because i am going to live there for the next three years. I'm going to an academic school to improve my study's. I want to be a good and successful hairdresser.

There was one little problem the school my mom found was atleast a 4 hour travel. So she asked her oldest sister if it would be okay for me to stay with her. Her place was only 20 minutes away. Of course she said yes. I got to admit I am a little scared not being able to see my mom and siblings every day as I'm used to.

"And please your sixteen so act like a sixteen year old kid please. Jennie are you even listening to what I am saying?" My mom asked snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Hmm-mmm." I replied.
"You're scared aren't you?" she asked.
"No shit Sherlock. What do you expect. I'm going to the big city far from you, to a school with older people how am i suposed to feel?" I fired back. Realising I maybe have been rude to her I apologised.
"I'm sorry mom I'm just going to miss you."

"It's okay hun' I'm going to miss you too. But I'm only one call away and I will see you atleast once a week. So just be a good girl and before you know you will be back home with us." my mom tries to encourage me but I still am in a lot of fear.

'This is it'
I wispered to myself as we finally came to the front door of her apartment. My stepdad insisted of carrying my stuff.

"Thank you" I said softly.
We all went inside and greeted my aunt.

"This is your room" auntie said.

"I dont know if you like the dog and cat pictures but if you want you can hang something different on the wall. Theres three drawers under the bed but if that isn't enough I can clean a shelf from the closet for you. There is the laptop if you want to use it just ask. In the bottom shelf of the closet are the drinks. The cola is mine and I understood from your mom you like ice tea so I got you some. The middle self is were all the clothes that needs to be ironed goes."

I listen carefully as she goes on.
"Do i need to clean that shelf?" She asked.

"No it should be fine. I don't have that much stuff." I answered.

"Okay if you say so. Next on the bathroom. The mirrors are cabinets I cleared some space out for you and in the cabinet behind you are the towels. Your towels are the red ones."

As we were walking she said this one last thing.

"The only task you have to do is the dishes. Now go settle your room." I responded with a nod and disapeard in my new room. With a big sigh I sat myself on the white carpet.

I placed my suitcase in front of me and zipped it open. I took my clothes out and put it nicely in the dresser, as I was doing so I started to tear up.
'Keep yourself strong Jennie' I said to myself.

As I was busy giving my stuff a place my mom walked in the room. She saw a tear on my cheek and wiped it away.
"Why are you crying hun'?" she asked.
"Its just, suddenly everything seems real now and I'm scared." I shighed. "Its just... I'm going to miss you." I teared up even more.

"Its only a month Jennie after that, you can come home every weekend if you are being good." mom said. "And in the vacations you can come home." she gave me a hug and wiped my tears away. She broke the hug and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"Now I'm sorry but dad and me have to go home, I want to be home in time to get the little ones on time in bed for school tomorrow" my mom said. I nodded and gave her a big hug. They bid there last goodbye before leaving the door of the apartment. I sighed and unpacked the rest of my stuff. As I was ready giving my stuff a place my aunt calls me over for dinner.

My aunt tried to start a conversation with me. I was in a daze but still able to reply. When we were done eating we cleaned of the table amd then i went back to my room. I let myself fall and started to think how much i already miss home. Before I knew it was already 10 in the evening so I announced to my aunt I was going to sleep.

While getting ready for bed I started to tear up. "I can't" I wispered to myself "I'm not ready" I looked at myself in the mirror and all I could see was a little miserable girl who is nothing without her mommy. I took a deep breath and wiped away my tears. I putted on a straight face took my toothbrush and the toothpaste. I hold my toothbrush towards my reflection and said "No, no you little crybaby you have to say Yes I can and Yes i am ready"

I brushed my teeth and went to bed. Before I could even realize I was fast asleep.

But little did i know what this year had to bring me.

A/n: hello thank you for reading this. This story is hard for me to write because it happend to me. The purpose of this story is to help me and see that not everything is my fault. The story is ofcourse abit different because I don't remember it fully. Last year was rough for me and I didnt know how difficult time I had. I only know now bc it has lead me to panic attacks and because of the stress it all caused me I gained 15 kilo. Maybe people don't get why it was hard for me and I know there are bigger problems but everyone takes things in a diffrent way. But even my friends say it wasnt normal and it wasnt healthy