The Child That Never Was (NaNoWriMo 2014)

Chapter One

I waited for my teacher to come in, and while I was waiting, I opened up this furry pink notebook that I had decorated, doodling on one of the clean pages.  This notebook was reserved for doodling, and I’ve had it since seventh grade.  Now a freshman in high school, I’m cramming to find free space in there.  I used that notebook all the time because drawing is the only thing I had to keep me happy.  During lunch I sat at an empty table and just draw, or on the bus I sat by myself, drawing.  In the evenings at home, I laid on my bed, drawing after I had finished with my homework.  During the summer months, I would ride my bike to the local park, sit under a tree or on one of the tree's branches, and just draw with my pencils.  Nothing was more of a comfort to me.

Today, I was working on this unicorn with long pink hairs.  My favorite thing to draw was fantasy because you can really use your imagination when drawing such things.  With fantasy drawings, things are the way that you want to make it.  Everything becomes so surreal, and it helps me to just get away.  I can draw of far-away places, my own utopias.  While I draw, it's like I am being sucked into my pictures.  I get to know everything that is there, better than anybody else, and I can imagine that if I lived there, somebody there would care about me.  My drawings helped me to become me, and go on those adventures I always dreamed about going on, like in all of those fantasy novels on my bookshelf at home.

Langer caught me drawing and commented on it.  “Oh, how detailed.  You really know how to bring your pictures to life, Kaylie,” he smiled.

I smiled back at him, and continued on with the unicorn.  Finally, our teacher showed up and took attendance.  We all stood up, said the Pledge of Allegiance, and then grabbed our things to head off to our first class.  My first class was Art, luckily.  It was always a nice way to start off an easy Monday morning.  I was the first one in class, as usual, so Ms. Greper came over to talk to me.

“Kaylie, bright and early again, are we?” she smiled.

“I'm ready for today's lesson,” I smiled back.  I brought out my picture of the unicorn and showed it to her.  “Today I began drawing this.  What do you think?”  In the beginning of the year, I had accidentally left my pink notebook in the library, and a student found it, thinking that it belonged in the art room.  Ms. Greper then got a hold of my notebook, found that it belonged to me, and made me promise her that I would always show her my doodles from now on because they had amazed her so much.

“Kaylie,” she said in awe.  “This is incredible.  What inspired you?”

“Today I had a run-in with Ashley Wince (Ms. Greper smiled knowingly, and rolled her eyes at the brat's name.)  It really hurt me, and I felt so trapped inside of myself.  Unicorns, though, are such beautiful creatures that always get their way.  They're just so free, and that's what I wanted to be.  Free like a unicorn, I guess,” I told her.  Ms. Greper knew all about how Ashley primarily used me as her victim, and she always understood the representation in my pictures.

“This is lovely, Kaylie, but you know, it is odd that all of your drawings come from such negative feelings,” Ms. Greper said, shaking her finger in the air as if trying to figure out what was so out of place.

“But, Ms. Greper, you're always telling me to use my negative emotions to bring out drawings such as these,” I said, confused.  “I don't understand what you're saying.”

“Darling, people use positive emotions to bring out magnificent drawings, as well.  Every time I ask you for your inspiration, I always get a negative response.  Don't you have any positive images in your head that can create drawings from?  I just don't feel that it is healthy for you to draw so many things connected to negative images,” Ms. Greper said concerned.