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CHAPTER ONE

Kiyana Shontae Lee | Kiy

"You bitch!" My father sent a stingy smack across my face. Tears streamed down my face as I slowly struggled to get up off the kitchen floor. When I finally got up, a tea mug was flung my way. I stepped back to dodge it, but ended up slipping on my sister's barbie doll and hitting my head on the edge of the dining room table. That's when I blacked out.

I woke up in a hospital bed the next day. I saw my father and a nurse talking outside the door and my two sisters sleeping on two chairs beside me. I tried to sit up but my head was spiraling. Once the nurse noticed I was awake, she rushed into the room.

"How are you feeling, sweetheart?" She asked noticing I was rubbing my head.

"It hurts."

"Awe, I can get you something for the pain, if you'd like," I nodded. "What happened again?"

"I-." Before I could answer, my Dad interrupted me.

"Miss, can you hear? I already told you she hit her in the head, playing too much with her dumb ass sisters."

She stank-faced my dad before she bent down to my ear and whispered,"Is he hurting you? You can tell me."

Things have never been the same since my mom died 3 years ago. My parents had been in love since the age of 16. The unconditional love they had for each other was something I aspired to have when I was older. My mother would always be so sad when my dad went on business trips and would always prepare a grand meal for when he came home. I admired how my dad would rub her feet after a long day at work and give her flowers every now and then just to make her smile. Just the way he looked at her showed me just how much he loved her. And they treated me and my two little sisters, Alisa and Khelani, with same love-- spoiled us rotten, never skipped out on kissing us every night before bed. I still can't figure out how we went from that to this-- my dad's heavy drinking and beating up on me. Life took a turn so fast.

Before I knew it, the nurse was snatched from my side and thrown against the wall.

"Mind your fucking business!" He yelled in her face. Then he turned and stared at me before dragging out the bed by my ankles. "You always running your fucking mouth! Let's go!" He yelled waking my sisters up and pushing me out the door.

The car ride was quiet. I thought his little act at the hospital was going to be it for the night. But as I saw him down three solo cups of Hennessy as soon as we got in the house, I knew more was in store. So, I quickly decided to tuck my sisters in for night and go to sleep myself to avoid any more conflict. Anything would set my dad off when he was drunk. It was as he had a chemical imbalance and blacked out to the point where he wasn't in control of his own actions.

I cradled a picture frame of my mom as I cried myself to sleep. At night, especially on nights like this, is when the memories start to come in. I remember my first heartbreak in the second grade. I caught my boyfriend, Josh, holding hands with another girl at the lunch table. When I told him that I saw it, he told me that he didn't care and he wanted to break up with me. I was so heartbroken and cried my eyes out for hours after school. But my mama was there to lift my head up and say,"Kiy, fuck these little ass dirty ass boys," I was dead. It was the first time I ever heard her curse. "You gonna learn that half of them ain't shit and never gonna be shit. Shake it off and keep going about your life."