Remembering Theo. ((Non proof read version- first draft ideas))

Theo.

Theo finally reached the top of the mossy cliff and slapped his body onto the cold wet grass that laid upon the cliff, not too close to the edge but if Theo was to move his body a couple of times to the left he would find himself falling down to his death.
But Theo didn't care.
He wanted that.

"16?"
"17!"
"Shit. That's-"
Theo nodded he has the same conversation every year with the same cousin. And each time Theo pretends to be Interested making sure to always sound excited when talking to his cousin.
"-Crazy." Theo finished his cousins sentenced as he was getting tired of always talking about his birthday, blank age to question mark to no older. His cousin continued to talk as Theo brought his gaze to the nearest window in his house. Nothing exciting more nothing but he could see the edge of the cliff. Something a little exciting.
His cousin still continued to talk not even noticed the Theo's attention was now bright to the mirror the you could see from the dining room to the sitting room. Theo was what he would like to believe a good height, but on the brink of being called short but
Not short enough to be classed as short. His brown hair curled inwards at the bottom and outward on top to curve around his head making bags at the front that came down to his thick eyebrows. His hair could be considered long if it didn't curl inward at the bottom which meant it just poked out enough for someone to think he was trying to grown it out like those thrasher rock band guys that his dad used to be into. Theo's hair at times also seemed to look wet or dragging down the top of his head was flat apart from his curls down by his eye brows the rest of the curls also sat at the bottom the ones that didn't curl in which sit near the bottom and some times middle part of Theo's ear. He though Theo's hair was brown, neither dark brown or light brown it still appeared dark due to his skin. Theo's skin was soft and white, extremely pale as if it was Snow White herself if she was to be a male. Girls would often talk about how soft his hands were and how lucky he was to have such smooth skin with no effort needed. One girl who was apparently lucky enough to know what Theo's lips felt like said they felt like soft and pillowy like well plumped and pale but at times redder, the only time much colour came to Theo's face was when a blush would fill his face and even then it was a soft light pink and no sweat. Like a painting. Theo could not say the same for her, Theo loved her. He loved her. He really did, just not how he loved him. But she knew better, so Theo was just a boyfriend of hers who had great lips.
Many people would describe Theo as being a charming outsider who kept to himself. Despite having people who showed interest in getting to know him. Theo wasn't interested in friends, he once had a group but little by little they all left and Theo couldn't handle the pain of going through again. He was fine with being alone. But that didn't mean that he didn't want to be nice to others and talk when talked to. He did so. When a girl asked him a question he replied when an adult would ask him how he is he would stop and talk to them. As his cousin still went on about how his mother was seeing some guy and how something something, Theo was too focused on his own body. Theo excused himself form his cousin and walked up to the bathroom he could feel it. Or see it perhaps. The outside world became numb and his vision started to fuzz around the edges. His pupils dilated like a full moon. Theo stumbles through the small sea of people that stop between the stairs and slowly makes his way up. The house his father bought back in 1984 was now tearing apart due to lack of money lack of care, lack of everyone that lived in the house. Most of the house his mother redecorated when she moved in making it family based for when his brother Eddie was born. Most of the house now in Theo's eyes, though his mother disagrees, feels blue. The rooms feel cold and like they are breaking apart the floor boards creek and crack as Theo walks around the house sometimes with his arms up like he's trying to balance as he walks up and down the corridors on the tips of his toes believing he's anywhere else but here. The main entrance of the house in Theo's eyes is a baby blue mixed with an off white. The portraits of his brother sits on the wall smiling, but he can hear him saying those words "don't fuck this up again. Mum doesn't need more shit." But his smile says I love my brother Theo more then anything in this world. He was right Theo knew that. The main photo in the entrance was Eddie smiling brightly with a much smaller photo of Theo on the desk that sat underneath the massive portrait of Eddie. Theo was nothing like his brother. And he didn't wish to be. In Theo's photo he's looking behind the camera and to the left not focusing on what the man behind the camera was telling him to do, which made Theo look like he didn't want to be there, he didn't, he was about toughly 7 or 8 in the photo. His hair shaggy and a lot darker covering his eyes. His lips red with some freckles peaking out round the top of nose but mostly covered the his hair. His face skinny and you could just see the out line of his collar bone on his red over sized jumper that he borrowed from Eddie. No smile on his face not sad either just plain.
As you enter the first room from the front door you are greeted with Eddie's smiling 11 year old self and a table that and a small bowl of little fake flowers, blue flowers, of course and a smaller bowl to place your keys in. Next to the small bowl was Theo's photo, and then a door that lead to where you can place your coats, jackets, shoes, whatever you came in with lives in here the film painted an off white with a blue rug on the bottom. Baby blue was so ugly to Theo. He hated the sight of the first room seeing Eddie every time he came home smiling like he would never hurt his own brother on purpose officer, his mother's words after the fight that lead to Theo never getting rid of his bangs.
There was also a large dark blue rug that covered the beige wooden floor boards. And then on your right the study on your left the sitting room in front the kitchen and the portrait, desk and baby Theo. And of course right before you turned for the study the stairs. That had the worst stairs that Theo had ever heard along the wall was selves of Theo's and Eddie's achievements and photos of past loved ones, Eddie, his mother, his father and so on. Non of Theo though. His mother could never get just a photo of Theo with a smile. Theo after excusing himself from his cousin walked up the stair side to side brushing past the small sea of people in the cold blue room the lead to the landing of bathrooms and bedrooms. Theo walked as best as he could to the bathroom locking the door and placing his soft hands onto the cream white bathroom counter. He met his reflection and soon realised how high he really was when his own reflection started to move by itself. But of course it wasn't Theo was an addict the same circles under his eyes the marks on his arms, his blue dead eyes when not high. But when Theo got high he felt alive. The same thrill he got when he shoplifted. The same high. But this meant that Theo could feel things and see things that the others could not. His body turned cold and he let out a laugh and placed his fingers by his bottom eye lid and dragged his hands down his face and sighed. He reached into his pocket and lifted his phone to his face, his pale eyes looking alive. But his body said otherwise. Theo was was very skinny, which for his height he was told it checkout out but the drugs made his hunger nonexistent he would go days without nothing but drugs and water and gum. Wondering around town looking for something to steal something to do. Theo's legs had no definition to them and stood like two noodles but Theo liked it, it was the only part of his body he actually show off with skinny jeans purely because it felt good having the right fabric rub against the cuts that ran across his upper thigh. A continues pain if he couldn't steal or get high this was his thrill. Other then that Theo wore oversized jumpers under shirts and jumpers with tops over the jumpers. Most of the time Theo would be divided by a white under long sleeved shirt with a black plain shirt and jeans or, invert, black long sleeved under shirt with a white plain shirt and jeans. Or a red jumper that for years actually belonged to him and not Eddie. Theo wasn't happy nor was he sad he was neither but just getting by which made him feel alright. He went up and down trying to work down the high before facing his mother and saying thank you for his 17th birthday party and to say his "i'm so sorry but it's late and I need to get some sleep but thank you" and heading off to jerk off or sleep or cry or even all three if he felt like it. Theo splashed some water over his face and slid his hair back, he knew not to look up to see that ugly ugly scar that Eddie had left so long ago instead Theo held his hair back closed his eyes and took a sip of water. And placed his hair back down cover his forehead and eyebrows again. Theo could of sworn he locked the door but still that was the night that Theo met James.
And James met Theo.