AU stories

i signed up for a dating website to get my mom off my back

Class time! I have classes till 2pm. All classes. Ugh. I will have to try so hard not to fall asleep in these lectures.

Finally! 2pm!! I am so excited to go home. 

The comfort of my own bed. It's so heavenly, maybe I will nap.

"7pm saturday?"   "Breakfast or lunch date?" 

Hmmmm okay okay. "Breakfast! How about saturday?" 

If I have to pay for either of these dates I will be pissed. 

"That sounds good!" I replied to the other message. 

Four days before these dates. It can not be too bad. Plus, two dates in one day, my mom will be so happy! Maybe she will leave me alone for awhile..

Oh fuck, I took a nap. It's only 5, not too bad. Okay I need to do some homework.

"DIINNNNNEEERRRRR" shit.

Okay okay, I will eat and then do homework and then shower and then try to sleep even though I know I won't be able to.. dammit.

Spaghetti and meatballs and sweet sausage mmmm the only thing that could make this any better would b- GARLIC BREAD!

Hell yeah, a five-star fucking meal. 

I mean really, who doesn't like spaghetti???

"Hi honey, how was classes today? Any dates?" This woman. Straight to the point.

"Classes were so boring mom! Lectures all day long. I almost fell asleep literally multiple times a class. My APA class was not too bad, just going over the basics and then she surprised us with an open-note quiz! A lot of people were upset because they did not take any notes, luckily I took notes and ended up getting a 10/10! The kids were being so immature, like most of us are seniors, seriously??"

Maybe if I keep talking she will forget what she asked... 

"Oh and then, in my last class we were going over the project that is coming up and everyone wanted to be my partner, as if I do not know that they only wanted to because I get all of my work done, and then some. I am just going to email the professor and see if I can do it myself, like seriously. I will end up having to do all of the work anyways, why let someone else get a good grade for doing nothing? Oh well, anyways, how was work?"  please distract her please distract her please distract her

"Work was work. My students are getting better at raising hands but, ya know, first graders. They are all so cute though!" YES IT WORKED!!!

"Awe I am so happy to hear that!"

"So, dates?"        fml.

"Ugh. Mom, why can't you just leave my love life alone?... But yes, I have two dates planned for saturday. Breakfast and then dinner."

"Oooooo! Exciting. What are you going to wear? Maybe that pink dress with the bow in front for dinner? Breakfast... hmm I don't kn-"

"Pajamas. I am going in my PJs." I mean think about it, I would be comfy..

"Em!! Seriously. Maybe a romper? Something loose and comfy because it is breakfast, but still something cute."

"Oh well excuse me, some of my pajamas are VERY cute!" 

"Emily."

"Fine. I don't know yet. I'm not even sure where we are going."

"Okay thank you. I'm very happy you are going on a date for me. You're the best sweetie."