Soudam Week Summer 2019

The Agony of one's Soul

Summary:

For the longest of time Gundham suffered from the agony his soulmate was experiencing in his life.
For as long as Kazuichi could remember he made his unfortunate soulmate suffer by sharing his pains.

Day 1 of the Soudam Week
Prompt: Soulmates | Non-Despair/School Life | Crossdress

AO3 version: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19383370 (Originally posted 15.07.19)

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For most of Gundham's mortal life he had been experiencing nearly unbearable pains. Yet these were not his own pains. This blinding agony was from his soulmate.

His soulmate was constantly experiencing extreme pains and the way they were placed and came in quick successions, before suddenly stopping for about a day or two before repeating itself in an endless cycle suggested that the pains came from constant beatings – quite brutal ones at that from time to time, that made Gundham fall to his knees and cry out in misery without any way to escape the excruciating agony.

The torment began when Gundham had still been in elementary school. He had been out buying groceries with the Angel when a sudden sharp pain in his cheek made him flinch and tear up. It had felt like some invisible entity had slapped him. Yet this was not the end, as an even worse and nearly nauseating pain went through his gut, making his legs give in under his weight and making him throw up. The Angel had went into panic at seeing her son covering on the floor in pain and not being able to help him. This was when Gundham had first truly understood the curse which the connection with one's soulmate could be, yet he never blamed his soulmate for the pain.

From then on out the pain became more frequent, happening often at school during the break times and making Gundham's school days nearly unbearable. However the pains were the true hell during the evenings, making him scream and cry and sometimes even loose his consciousness.

Pain, pain, pain and even more pain; day after day, this agonising pain.

But he still never blamed his soulmate for it. All throughout the years where Gundham had to suffer through the invisible beatings that he shared with his destined one, he never once gave them the fault. It was all their abusers' fault. These despicable fiends that dared to lay hand at the dark lord's destined one. When the day comes that Gundham found his soulmate, he would track down all these demons and make them pay for their crimes. Not because they made Gundham live through this agony but for hurting his soulmate, as this was the most despicable sin that any being could ever commit.

Years went on and while the pain and agony never ended, Gundham learned to hide his every reaction. He had been able to figure out a pattern where their shared pain was the most likely to strike. During recess at school and in the late evening and weekends. While Gundham had been at his realm of learning he typically avoided the interactions with other mortals and when the pains came he covered his reactions by biting his lips and ignoring the agony. These pains were tolerable at this point now – a cruel truth to realise that he and probably his destined one as well had gotten so used to them by now. Yet in the evenings Gundham's willpower to not react to the constantly recurring invisible beatings was sometimes not enough, as hard as it was to admit to himself. While he was thankful to a twisted degree that the pains did not come every evening and night, they were the most severe ones and sometimes still made him flinch or call out even if he had tried his best to hide it all from the worried Angel.

Gundham had to find his destined one as soon as he could. Yet he did not know where he would even begin.

Aside from the agony that Gundham suspected came from constant abuse, he ever so often experienced pains in his hands as if something had hit, zapped or burned them. Yet they usually only lasted for a few moments before passing again, making Gundham suspect that they were caused by accidents by whatever his destined one was regularly doing. As these short pains were only within the area of his hands, Gundham suspected that his destined one did follow some form of past time involving them working with their hands with something that can cause harm if not handled correctly.