New Beginnings

Chapter Four

How hadn't he made a connection in the last names?

"Kurt? Buddy?"

Not even hearing his father's voice helped as his breathing picked up. His chest burned, and all he could feel was the cold ice of slushy dropping down his face. The hard press of metal lockers against his side. The stench of dumpster and piss. He remembers a doctor talking to him about this when he was in the hospital...

A panic attack. Kurt was having a panic attack. 

Kurt scrambled to go backwards, to get away from him. He wanted to go back to Dalton. He wanted to curl up with Jeff and watch movies. He felt himself being pushed down onto the couch and he tried fighting the hands touching him.

'Let go! Let go let go LET GO' his mind screamed. He could barely hear the soft feminine voice trying to talk to him. Eventually the voice seemed to give up, and instead he felt his head being pushed between his knees, which had been brought to his chest. He heard the same side voice coaching him through breathing, until he could finally recognize the voice as Carol's. He then felt her hand stroking his hair.

"There we go. That's it, honey. Just keep breathing slowly. It's okay." After a while, Kurt slowly uncurled his body. 

"Kurt, what the hell happened?" His father's voice came. Kurt couldn't look at him. Instead, he locked eyes with Carol, hoping she would be able to see what he was trying to tell her. It took a minute, but eventually her face fell and her voice shook. 

"Honey, I'm so sorry." Kurt shook his head, his own voice quiet.

"You didn't know."

"Okay, what the HELL am I missing?" 

Thankfully, Carol answered for him, as Finn stayed quiet from where he stood.

"My son....my son was one of his harassers." The woman stood slowly from where she was knelt In front of Kurt, turning to her own son.

"Finn, how could you?" Said boy looked down, clearly embarrassed. 

"I don't know. At first, I kept telling the other guys to stop. But then they started calling me gay and crap! And saying I was his boyfriend!"

"So you thought that was a good enough reason to hurt my son?" Kurt's watery eyes looked up towards his dad at how much disgust his voice. 

"You thought that was a good enough reason to hurt anyone?"

"N-No sir. I was stupid. I didn't want to hurt him. I-I was a coward, and I no longer stay in that crowd, I swear on it. I swear on my life." 

Kurt saw the conflict in his father's eyes as he looked between Finn and Carol. Saw the heartbreak as he tried to decide whether or not he could stay with this woman.

Kurt couldn't do that to him. 

Kurt stood and put a hand on his father's shoulder. 

"It's okay, Dad. He...he was one of the nicer ones. I...I could almost tell he didn't really want to do it. It's okay." Next, he turned to Carol.

"I promise this won't get between my dad and your's relationship. Besides," Kurt added "I'm at Dalton now. Everything's okay."

Burt sighed sadly as he looked to his son. 

"Are you sure about this, Kurt? I wouldn't want you to-"

With a reassuring smile, no matter how forced it was, Kurt lead them to the kitchen table.

"Come on, the food is getting cold."

...

"So you just... Forgave him?"

The following Monday, Kurt was curled up on Jeff's bed with him, burrowed into the warm side of his best friend. He shrugged.

"No. Not really. But I'm not going to let my Dad throw away the first woman he's loved since my mom died, just because her son was a dick to me. It's okay. He claims everything's changed, but even if it hasn't I'm still here most of the time anyways. I'll never really have to see him."

Jeff squeezed Kurt tighter with a sigh. 

"Have I told you how much I loved you, Kurt? You're such a sweet guy. You're probably the best guy I could've chosen as a best friend." Kurt blushed, pushing at his shoulder.

"Oh, so it isn't because I let you go on and on about your crush on Nick?" Jeff squawked, reaching for a pillow. But Kurt was quicker. Before he knew it, Jeff had a face full of pillow and was sprawled on the floor, Kurt crying from laughter on Jeff's bed.