Do you ever just feel like time is just
Slipping
So fast
Like you know Time is running out,
You know you're growing up and in to an adult
But no matter how hard you've ever tried
How much effort you put in to cherish that time
It's stripped from you every day.
Whether it be work or school
Or even family
You want to hold onto your youth
But they keep taking it away
By making you do chores and homework
Or like in my case I'm sitting in my living room
Tear stained cheeks
So frustrated
With a feeling of suffocation
Strangulation
My throat is so dry and tight.
My mom is upstairs
I'm here watching my brothers
I just want to be alone.
I just want to be by myself.
The past week she's made me sleep upstairs
In the guest bed with one of my brothers
And I just haven't had any alone time.
I'm constantly frustrated and drained
So fucking drained.
When the boys take a nap during the day
Usually when I workout
I've had no motivation
I'm bloated right now cos I'm trying to build muscle
So I'm eating in a surplus
My body isn't used to it
And I feel so ugly
So uncomfortable with myself
I look in the mirror and it's like all my hard work and progress
Like it's not even worth trying anymore.
Can I tell you something that happened yesterday?
So as I said I'm working on growing my legs and glutes
So I'm eating in a caloric surplus
my belly isn't as small as it was so it
kinda messed with my mood
since it's just like Ohhh small small small then ploooop pregnant belly....
it's not overly big or anything but with my body dysmorphia
