When I got off the lift, I dialled Trey's number.
He picked up at the first ring. "Yes, Marron?"
I bit my lip. "L-Love..." It was almost a whisper.
I heard Trey sighing at the other end of the line. "Yes, Love?" Tila napapaos na tugon n'ya.
This is making my eyes warm. "I'm here at Frigate's condo. I just want to end things right. I just want a decent closure before we start again." Pag-amin ko kay Trey. "I just thought that you have to know."
Matagal bago sumagot si Trey. "Aright, Marron. I'll see you later. I love you."
I bit my lower lip. "I love you, Trey." And it felt like decade since I last admit that. I'm in love with Trey. I was confused but I am always in love with Trey.
"Do your things, I'll wait for you outside that tower." Trey said in a strict tone.
I gave him the exact address. Ayoko na magduda si Trey kaya ipinaalam ko sa kanya. Baka may makakita sa akin dito, mas mabuti na na sa akin n'ya malaman.
Bahagyang nawala ang mabigat na nakadagan sa dibdib ko matapos ang tawag ko kay Trey. Nagpatuloy na ako sa pagpunta sa unit ni Frigate.
I ringed the bell. Ilang beses ko iyong inulit pero walang sumasagot. Wala din ba s'ya dito? Kung gan'on ay nasaan s'ya? Wala na akong ibang maisip na lugar kung saan s'ya puwedeng maglagi.
I tried the knob and I was lucky it's not locked.
Malayo sa huling punta ko dito ang itsura ng unit ni Frigate. Magulo ang sala at mukhang may nag-amok. Nakakalat sa sahig ang mga basag na figurines at frames. May basag na din ang salamin ng sliding door palabas ng balcony.
I feel sad at the sight. It seems that I broke Frigate. I was so selfish.
I went to Frig's room and I found him laying on his bed.
"Frig." I called. I started walking towards him. I tapped his shoulder. "Frigate, let's talk."
He slowly opened his swollen eyes. "Go away, Marron." He said in a hoarse voice.
I bit my lip. I want to sob at his miserable state but I keep my strong facade. "I've been calling you."
"Para saan? Para sabihin na dahil may problema sa kapatid ko, si Trey na ang papakasalan mo? Para ipamukha mo sa akin na naghihintay ka lang talaga na magkamali ako para maiwan mo ako?!" Padabog na bumangon si Frigate. "Ano, Marron?! Ipapamukha mo sa akin na masaya ka na ngayon dahil nakahanap ka ng butas sa akin para maiwan mo na ko?! Congratulations on your engagement! Makakaalis ka na!"
Hindi ko na napigilan na maiyak.
"Don't cry in front of me." Mariing sabi ni Frig. "You're free. Umalis ka na at bumalik ka na sa mahal mo talaga. Malaya ka na, Marron. Sana maging masaya ka. Sana you could start being honest with yourself. Stop being selfish and stop pretending you're righteous. Just be happy, Marron. That's enough." Seryosong sabi ni Frigate. "Now, leave me alone."
"I'm sorry, Frigate."
"Sorry for dumping me? Don't be, Marron. We both know that you're waiting for this moment. Ito lang naman ang hinihintay mo, 'di ba? Na magkamali ako. Dahil ako, kahit ilang pagkakamali mo, kahit makipag-sex ka pa sa ex mo, kaya kitang patawarin at tanggapin. Ako, isang mali lang, tapos na agad. Gan'on lang naman ako sa'yo, 'di ba?" Puno ng hinanakit na sumbat ni Frigate. "Ngayon, nagkamali na ako. May inconvenient na sa akin. Pwede ka nang umalis. Iiwan mo naman talaga ako, 'di ba? Kaya umalis ka na."
May karapatan naman talaga si Frigate na magalit sa akin. Tumango na lang ako at patalikod na sana kaso ay biglang bumagsak si Frig. Nataranta ako nang mawalan s'ya ng malay. Ngayon ko lang namalayan na namumutla s'ya at nang hawakan ko s'ya ay sobrang init n'ya. Inaapoy s'ya ng lagnat.
I helped Frig to his bed. Nang maayos ko na s'yang naihiga sa kama ay inayos ko ang temperature ng kwarto n'ya at kumuha ako ng bimpo at planggana para mapunasan s'ya. Walang malay si Frigate kaya pinalitan ko na din s'ya ng damit at kinumutan bago ako lumabas para maipagluto s'ya ng sabaw para makainom s'ya ng gamot.
Isinabay ko na ang paglilinis ng sala at pagluluto. Nang matapos ako ay naghanap na ako ng gamot sa medicine cabinet sa banyo ni Frigate. Ginising ko si Frigate para pakainin s'ya at para mapainom ng gamot. Sinubukan ni Frig kumain mag-isa pero mukhang nanghihina ang katawan n'ya at muntik pang matapon ang sabaw sa kanya.
"Ako na." Kinuha ko ang kutsara sa kanya at ako na nga ang nagsubo ng pagkain kay Frigate. Nang maubos n'ya ang hinanda ko ay pinainom ko s'ya ng gamot at sinabihan na humiga na ulit.
Kumuha ulit ako ng planggana ng maligamgam na tubig at muli s'yang pinunasan. Naiilang ako sa mariing titig sa akin ni Frig pero ipinagsawalang- bahala ko na lang. Nang matapos ako sa pagpunas kay Frigate ay seryosong tinignan ko s'ya.
"Matulog ka na para makabawi ng lakas ang katawan mo." Bilin ko sa kanya.
Doktor si Frigate kaya alam n'ya ang dapat n'yang gawin.
A tear fell from his eye. "Why do we have to end up like this? Why can't you love me the way you loved him?" Frig's voice shook at his words. "I loved you the best way I can, Marron. I love you with my all. Why can't you love me back? I love you even I know that you're in love with somebody else. I loved every broken pieces of you and tried my best to rebuilt you. I hoped that you will realise that I can love you better than he could. I love you, Marron. Why am I not enough to make you move on from him? Why my love isn't enough?"
"I'm sorry, Frigate." Was all I can say.
Frigate cried like a lost boy. I let him and just held his hand until he fell asleep. I decided to clean his room then cook another soup for him. I left a note on his table, saying that there's a bowl of soup on his fridge which he can heat up when he's hungry. I also prepared a medicine for him and prepared an alarm on his phone when it's time for his pill.
This is the best I could do for him. I know I can't stay.
Nang masigurado na maayos na ang lahat para kay Frigate ay kinuha ko na ang bag ko para makaalis na. I just hope that he'll get better physically. I wanted to call his mother but I don't know how to reach out after what happened. I ended up calling his secretary. Ibinilin ko na lang na bisitahin si Frigate.
I almost slam my head on the elevator door when I remembered that Trey's waiting for me outside. I spent over three hours on Frig's place!
Kulang na lang ay takbuhin ko na ang daan palabas nang bumukas ang pinto sa ground floor.
I spotted Trey's black sedan just in front of the building. Nagmamadaling pumasok ako. I was greeted with Trey's passive face.
"Frigate was sick."
He nodded. "Buckle up."
Hindi ko na alam ang sasabihin ko kaya nanahimik na lang ako.
The whole drive was enveloped with an awkward silence. I don't know how I should talk with Trey. I can't find the right words to say.
Once again, I screwed up.
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21 September 2019 - 10:03
Chicken Noodle Soup
Start from the beginning
