A Silver Lining (Lord of the Rings) [Legolas]

XVII. The Struggle

XVII. The Struggle

            Letting go was much easier said than done. I did not cry over the relationship that would never be, I kept my pain holed up inside me. That night marked one of the hardest things I ever had to do, but it was for a good reason. I could not come between a couple’s happiness. I just got Nikita back; I could not sever whatever delicate thread our acquaintanceship was being held by. Legolas was a different matter entirely.

            I could tell it was a struggle for us both, taking notice of each other, acknowledging that we were only friends and nothing more. We would steal looks at each other, sometimes catching the other in the act. I still had a hard time keeping my cheeks from turning rose-red.

            As the wedding came nearer, I could not understand what Legolas meant when he said that he did not feel like he was genuinely in love with Nikita. The times I saw them together it was as bright as the sun. How could Legolas lie to me about such a thing? Surely I could not be interpreting their relationship wrong.

            There was less than a month until the wedding. By this point, I had come to terms with my decision a while back. I did not know how Legolas was on that issue; we never brought up the topic when we talked, even if there was no one around at risk to hearing us. Though, the times we did talk, I could see a faint longing in his blue eyes. I wondered if I showed him the same exact look in my eyes and I failed to realize it.

            “Good morning!” Halian sang as she flitted into my room, uninvited. I groaned, pulling the covers over me. “Stop acting like this! I brought you something.”

            “How many times have I told you to not bring me breakfast?” I complained.

            “It is not breakfast, silly! Just open your eyes, will you?”

            I threw the cover off me to see Halian bouncing in place with a sheathed dagger in her hands. I smiled, realizing that Legolas had taken me seriously. Even though I had said that to divert myself away from the real topic that night, there had been some truth to my words about wanting to be armed. I could very well use the dagger when I left Greenwood, provided I was able to leave with it. I could not see that as an issue, though.

            “Huh,” I noted under my breath, sitting up. I took the dagger from Halian. She watched as I pulled it out to examine it. I nodded, admiring the sleek blade. It felt pretty light too, a good advantage should I have to use it.

            “Prince Legolas asked me to deliver it to you,” she said rapidly. I chuckled at her energy. “Are you planning to join the Guard here?”

            “Oh, no.” I put the dagger back in its sheath. “I asked for it for protection.”

            “Is someone after you?” Her blue eyes widened.

            “No, no! It is more for the journey home, in case I encounter any wild animals.”

            “We have known each other for a little while, Nimalia.” She sat on the bed, eyeing me expectantly. “All I want to know is the real reason behind that dagger. ‘Protection’ is not enough for me to go on, and I have a feeling that dagger has a greater purpose than you are hiding. Whatever your past entails, I promise I will not speak of it to anyone.”

            I shook my head at Halian. I could trust her to keep her word.

            I spent the morning telling Halian of my past, from the time I was born, to when I was taken by Wild Men. She was immersed in my story, listening with keen interest. She made all the appropriate facial expressions at certain points. I left out the part where I almost killed the little girl in the river, not that I did not think she could handle it. I then told her of my escape, which I did not believe even Legolas knew, or Arwen. Halian was perhaps the first to know of how I had escaped.