This is a repost of all feelings that I've felt before, I still feel again. Whether it was four or three years ago. It's a repost. These are memories, memories I've held onto for many reasons.
—
Okay, so I feel lonely sometimes. But really, it's fine, I'll deal with it so don't worry about it. Really. It's totally understandable that you don't have the time to be on here. You're busy with school and all that jazz. I mean honestly it hurts, yeah; it fucking hurts. It hurts a lot when you get online but you're filled with so many responsibilities that you can't even help it when you don't text me back. And you know what? That's okay, that's okay. I'm okay, you know? I'm not sad or depressed without you. What? Pfft. No. Never, I just kind of miss you every now and then but for now please ignore this, and know that I love you. I love you so damn much that sometimes I don't even know how to love. How do I love you, should I shower you in kisses, should I hold your hand? I don't know but please say you love me too. Please, please, please, I want to hear it back.
—
Say it with the sincerity you don't feel for me.
—
Why did you write those about me? Why!?
You said you loved me and that I should believe that I am worth your time.
But if someone is having better luck at talking to you, how do you think I can believe that?
You spoke about how I changed your life but really, I probably just made it worse.
Yes, at one point you loved me back, but admit it.
You probably don't love me anymore.
You probably never will.
I don't see that enthusiasm you used to have when you spoke to me... When you really liked me.
You said we're bestfriends. You have problems and so do I. So maybe this is the world saying we can't be together. But I wish that...I could've held you, and you'd love me enough to hold me back with all that you've got. But now. That can't happen, one day we will see each other, I don't doubt that.
But it won't be how I envisioned it.
We met. It wasn't.
I'd jump on you. We'd be crying, and despite not being allowed to, we'd kiss. Or I'd just try to kiss you. Then we'd go to your place or mines and talk about our favorite songs.
Then I'd sing you the song I first ever sang to you, because I love you so fucking much. Please don't ever forget that.
I should've sang you that song, babe.
And if you can.
Love me a little longer.
I miss you. I love you. I'm sorry.
—
I looked at you, you seemed a little bit different. You wore the black jacket that was too big. You were short for 8th grade, sure. But to me, you were just the right size. No one has ever liked you. Till I came along. Then...you left, I have only seen you once clearly. I cherish that moment so dearly. So so dearly. The glasses you wore. Your love for video games brought a unnatural beat to my heart. It felt like, any normal crush. But then. I found you again. Sure, sure, I stalked you. Somewhat.
Okay...I did.
Don't blame me though, I had to wait a day to see you again. Then I made a fool out of myself, a really big fool. I told you...I liked you. Then I realized my name was still revealed as I just started my account for only you. So, you knew who I was. (I died inside)
