Ups and Downs

A dream

It was a beautiful Saturday evening, the sun was nearly set as Julian and I sat out in the garden in the backyard of our cottage as we did every single Saturday night at 5:00, neither of us had ever been late to one of these meetings. Even with work and other things going on in life, this was one way we insured we got alone time. No distractions. No other people. Just, us.

Being here with him, feeling the warmth of the sun on our skin, the feeling of our hands interlocked perfectly, fitting like puzzle pieces. Is heaven.

Silence or commotion, it was always comfortable with him. No matter rain, storm, or sun. We stayed there. We had been through more than weather together, so we decided to not let it tear us apart now.

I looked over at julian, sun penetrating his grey/blue eyes, making them appear warmer in tone but nearly see through, his gaze meets mine after he takes a deep breath and smiles at me. He begins to speak

"You know, I had this...this dream..."

He trails off, peaking my interest, and thinking for a moment

"Oh yeah?"

I reply, trying to let him know I'm listening

He glances at me then stares at his lap, he's nervous. I can sense it

"Yeah...it was...my dream. I'd meet a beautiful lady, or man...I wasn't picky"

He nervously chuckles, trying to lighten the mood before speaking again

"This person...they would complete me. They would be the light of my world. The reason I lived and breathed. The reason I woke up every morning, the reason I would want to live..."

I smile, and squeeze his hand

"Did you meet this person?"

He laughs at my question, we both knew the answer but it aided in keeping the mood light

"Yes. Yes I did. Her name is (y/n), you and her should meet sometime. Oh! Such a wonderful person, truly."

He clears his throat and I grin wide

"Uhm, another part of this dream is that, I'd finally be happy. That bit came true too...and well, I had this idea...a crazy idea...you know, to make a checkpoint in the dream...a memory. One of many to come"

I hum curiously and chuckle lightly. I can basically see drops of sweat on his forehead

"And what is this idea mr. devorak?"

I tease, light hearted Julian arises once again and smiles at me, shaking his head as he stands.

I look up at him curiously, not sure as to what he's doing...

"Julian is everything okay?"

He laughs nervously once more and shakes his head

"Yes yes, darling. Everything is fine."

A breath I didn't know I was holding in escapes my lungs as he begins to speak

"This idea, was that I would, be with this person. Forever. I would...I would marry them."

He takes a shaky breath as he stoops down onto one knee, my heart nearly escapes my ribcages in attempts to flee. I take a shaky breath, matching his as he places one hand on my knee and the other fiddling with something in his pocket

"(Y/N), you make me...the happiest person in the world, every day that I wake up, I wake up feeling like the king of the world and that's only because I have my queen by my side. You somehow made me want to love myself so that I could also love you...with everything I had. I never thought I'd get the chance to find my soulmate...THE one, but I did, and it's you. I know what I would've done without you, that's not the issue, the issue is that it wouldn't have been good. I would've been dead by now and not just for an afternoon. I would've never chosen to come back...if it wasn't for you. If you hadn't chosen to stay no matter what, I wouldn't be here so I owe it all to you. I'll admit, I still don't understand what redeeming qualities I have...but I promise to always love you, always care for you, always put you first and always be there for you. You're the most important thing in this world and all other dimensions. I can't live without you...so that being said..."

Tears steady fall down my cheeks, and a look of awe on my face, Julian pulls out a ring box from his coat pocket, his clumsy hands fumble with it which makes me laugh a bit.

"(Y/N), will you marry me?"

He asks THE question as he pops the box open to reveal 3 medium sized white diamonds affixed on a silver ring. My breath is taken away, but not by the ring...by him. The truly valuable thing here, him. The man I've loved endlessly for 2 years now...wants to marry me and I couldn't be happier. I can't muster any words so I just nod my head, breathing increasing and tears pouring. He takes my hand and slides the ring onto it before smiling wider than I've ever seen him smile. He's speechless for a moment.

Then he picks me up and spins me around, both of us are laughing, I hold onto him tightly, my head tucked in the crook of his neck and legs wrapped securely around his torso.

He eventually puts me down and we both laugh as we regain our balance. Feeling able to talk again I muster out a few words as I look into his eyes.

"I love you...so much"

I say breathlessly before kissing him and wrapping my arms around his neck. The kiss was short but surged with passion and pure love. The moment it ended neither of us let go. We just stayed there, hugging each other tightly.

"I love you too, darling"

I could hear him say the words clearly but his voice was shaky, I pulled away a moment to look at him...in all the years I've known him...he's never cried. Not once.

I simply smile at him and rest my forehead on his before taking a deep breath and pushing myself backward, hands still planted on either side of his chest

"Hey...do you think we could maybe...hold off on telling people for a little while?"

I ask, looking up at him, a somewhat guilty look on my face. He smiles lightly, hands lightly resting on my waist, he nods

"Of course love, are you worried about what asra will do?"

He can read me like a book...dang it. I sigh with a half smile

"Yeah...I'm sorry, I feel like me worrying ab-"

He silences me half through my sentence with a finger placed to my lips he chuckles lowly and smiles

"Darling it's okay, no need for apologies. I get it love"

He says before kissing me once more, we both smile into the kiss as the sun finishes setting.

Now to just figure out how to keep this a secret and tell asra...the right way.