The Paper Kingdom

Chapter II: But Yes, Him

Gerard smirked and announced, "I better just read the lyrics, you know, to get a feel for our song." He looked directly at me when he said 'our.'

He promptly cleared his throat and began.

Oh god.

gerard
Jessie seemed to know what she was doing, for the most part at least. But I was still a bit angry that we had a kid playing with us. She needed experience. The stuff we played--the lyrics I wrote--it was heavy stuff that children can't relate to. And if you can't relate to it, how can you be expected to play it as well as someone who can feel it?

I finished warming my voice up at around the time they completed their second run. I took out a sheet of lyrics I had been working on for a while, and I knew it went well with what they were playing.

I came out of the cramped room and waved the lyrics around and said, "I have something ready, do you?" I don't know if it was on purpose, but I noticed I didn't look at Jessie. At all. Even though I had all while they were playing.

Frank's eyes widened. He pulled me by the arm and off to the side. "Do you really want to play this song?" he scolded in a hushed voice.

I smirked. "Why wouldn't I?"

He scowled in response. "Don't you think we should save this for--" he glanced back at Jessie, "a later time?"

"Let's just play it now."

He rolled his eyes and tossed his arms above him. "Fine, you stubborn bastard!" he said much louder. "Let's just do this."

I smiled in a way that would piss anyone off and said, "I better just read the lyrics, you know, to get a feel for our song." I looked straight at Jessie.

I swallowed a chuckle.

"They're gonna clean up your looks

With all the lies in their books

To make a citizen out of you."

I saw Mikey out of the corner of my eye. He looked aghast.

"Because they sleep with a gun

And keep an eye on you, son

So they can watch all the things that you do."

I turned to get a glimpse of Ray. Not cool man, he mouthed. I smiled and continued.

"Because the drugs never work

They're gonna give you a smirk

'Cause they got methods of keeping you clean

They're gonna rip up your heads,

Your aspirations to shreds

Another cog in the murder machine!"

I knew what Frank was thinking. I could only imagine what Jessie was.

"They said all teenagers scare the living shit out of me

They could care less as long as someone'll bleed

So darken your clothes or strike a violent pose

Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me!"

I stopped reading. She stood up and landed right in front of me. I smirked down at her. I was a head taller.

Her voice was stern. "I can see when I'm not wanted." She walked out briskly.

Frank shot me a glance before running after her. If looks could kill, he'd be a mass murderer.

"Bro," Mikey said quietly. "That's shallow. Even for you."

"Yeah man," Ray added. "She was a good drummer. You want to put this album on hold? We don't know how long Matt'll be gone."

"I don't care," I shrugged, taking a seat on the couch. "She's just a kid. She'll get over it." I took a long, maniacal sip of my now-cold Starbuck's.

Game, set, match.

jessie
I was stunned by the lyrics. "Teenagers scare the living shit out of me"? "Maybe they'll leave you alone but not me"? If he was that bothered by me, why didn't he just say so? If that's how he felt, then I would leave him alone. He had made his point, so I guess that was my cue to leave.

I stood up and adjusted my collar. I felt like I was about to burst, but like all good dams, I kept the waterworks in.

I walked right up to Gerard, looked him dead in the eyes, and said with as much composure as I had, "I can see when I'm not wanted." I marched out of the room and didn't look back.

The door opened and closed again behind me, followed by the sounds of Converse on hardwood. Frank caught up to me and put a hand on my shoulder.

"It's not you, Jessie. It's Gerard," he coaxed. "He's irrational and doesn't know how to think properly."

"I don't care," I spat. "He doesn't want me there, so I shouldn't be there."

"Just come back, please. The band needs you."

"What about Matt? He'll be back soon."

"I don't know about that, Jessie." I gave him a look of disbelif. He continued, "He and Gerard got in a huge fight the other day. Things got pretty rough and even though Gerard is pretty against violence, a few punches were thrown."

I was shocked. "Oh man."

"Yeah. I honestly don't think they're on good enough terms to be coming back anytime soon, and I don't think Gerard would like that." Frank cleared his throat. "We're in the middle of recording and we only have one song left. So please come back."

I rolled my eyes. "Okay. But if he pulls another stunt like that, I'm out for good."