Spaces Between

Week #1: Unreachable

As much as he loved spending time catching up with everyone, the time off was intended just as much for him to take time for himself to reflect and reassess his life, take a bit of a rest from full time performing. Ever the introvert, Fergal had been taking the time to do a lot of walking and hiking over the past couple of days, and found it relaxing, especially by the water. It was nice not to be on a tight schedule.

The one thing still weighing on his mind was his concern over Pamela. Even with him checking in regularly since the beginning of his break, he still felt really uneasy. But she consistently told him she was okay, that everything was fine. He had no way of knowing otherwise, even if they were in the same room. She had always been good at hiding behind her happy mask, hiding behind her in ring persona.

He never wanted to push and felt he had no right to since he had asked her to maintain a certain distance between them just like he had with the other women in her division, which meant avoiding talk about each other's romances and maintaining boundaries. Even back then, he'd already started developing feelings for her so he felt it was the safest thing to do. He figured that she had a strong enough support system that she would bounce back like she always seemed to do so he focused on just enjoying whatever time he could get with her.

But something about the way he'd left things with her in Toronto made the uneasiness within him harder to shake than usual, something deeply rooted in her that he hadn't noticed before, making him wonder what else he had been missing.

< I wanted to check in, see how you were doing. I know you still have time off. Hope you've been taking care of yourself. - F >

When he hadn't gotten a response back right away, he pocketed his phone and let it go. He figured it was too early to get a response anyway. If anyone was going to make through whatever difficult times they were facing, it would be Pamela. She had done so once before without his help. He just needed to let her deal with it in whatever way she needed to, just like he was dealing with his own situation. She didn't need him, she had all her friends, her family...and as far as he knew, her boyfriend. If she needed him, she would reach out.

There was something unsettling about the lack of a response that day but Fergal would try hard not to let it get to him. He was her friend, but no matter how much he would wish that he was her first call, her number one guy, that distinction belonged to someone else. That was a line he would never dare cross before she let him know that the situation had changed. He was far too much of a proper gentleman and raised well by his parents to behave any differently. Plus, he had to honor their agreement like she had done.

- - - - -

She wouldn't reply this time around.

She had managed to befriend one of the newer NXT Superstars, Kacy Catanzaro, and had been spending the morning working out with the pint sized dynamo, teaching her a thing or two as well. She had been using her phone to play music earlier that morning but hadn't replied to any messages or calls while at the PC.

It helped to keep moving. Staying at home wasn't going to help her any, and while he meant well, letting Fergal know what was going on was not going to help her. She didn't want to talk about any of it, especially not to the guy who was deeply entrenched in the situation.

- - - - -

He tried again 24 hours after sending the last message. He knew she would be up early if she had a training session, she always was.

< I know you've got your training today, but I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you. - F >

He was sitting at a coffee shop not too far away from home, having gotten in the habit of going there before going off on his walks. He frowned at his phone when he got a response.

< Thanks. >

It was unlike Pamela to give one or two word responses and Fergal found it a bit strange, but he chalked it up to a training day. She might have had a very happy-go-lucky in ring persona but she was an intense athlete and a hard worker with laser sharp focus when it came down to it. He knew that she was just focused on whatever she needed to get done that morning before heading out.

The last thing he did was send a heart emoji before attempting to put his phone away. But before he could put his phone in his pocket, a call came in.

"Hello?"

...

"Oh yeah, I called the other day. I wanted to visit the Performance Center in a couple of days."

...

"That's great! Yeah, of course I wouldn't mind speaking to some of the new recruits."

...

"That's lovely. I'll call to confirm my visit when I land in London. Have a nice day."

Fergal hung up the phone, feeling great. A part of him missed teaching and mentoring, and the opportunity to speak to new UK Performance Center recruits would give him the opportunity to give back to the industry and reclaim that part of him that had been put on the back burner for so long.

< Going to talk to some fresh recruits at the UK Performance Center. Going to teach them a thing or two like I taught you. >

A smirk escaped his lips as he sent the message to Rebecca, walking out of the coffee shop, and the response was exactly as he expected.

< Maybe they'll learn to Coup de Grace without falling flat on their faces like I did. >

< It's no one's fault but your own that you kept falling forwards not backwards. >

When the next message came in, the abrupt subject change caused Fergal to raise his eyebrow.

< So I saw Pam the other day when she came in from the airport. You were right. Something felt off. I let her retreat and get some rest though. >

< When are you going to talk to her? >

< When I see her at the PC later, hopefully. Maybe I can get to agree to have a late lunch with me or something. >

< Thanks again for looking out. She's avoided me recently so I've been extra concerned. >

< Explain this to me: Why aren't you the one talking to her about this? >

< I've tried. She keeps insisting that she's fine. I know she's not. >

< I'll see what I can do, mate. No promises. You know I won't break her confidence, right? >

< I know. I just want someone to look out for her, get her to talk. I feel like she's holding something in and I'm worried. You don't have to tell me what she says, just let me know if she's okay. >

< All right, all right. I'll let you know after I go to the PC. >

< Thank you. >

Fergal finally managed to put his phone in his pocket while continuing his walk.