DOUBLE EDGED A Harper's Book. (Book 10)

Pushing The Boundaries

What is wrong with me? It's like a light flicked on over night and I can no longer hide or control my emotions. Daily I beat myself up for sending Frankie after Shaw and placing her in a life threatening situation. Never will I be that careless again where she is concerned. Never will she be in harm's way again.

Sadly it took seeing her nearly drown to open my eye's at what I could lose. Yes, I still suffer from the guilt of my mother's death and my father's disappearance. It kills me knowing that my spoiled ways caused my father such pain and grief. I turned myself off from any ounce of happiness or affection but there's a nagging voice that keeps repeating itself.... "Is it fair to continue to punish yourself for situations you can't control. It wasn't your fault. Many factors played a part that night. Besides you were caught at a vulnerable age, not quite a kid but not yet a man".

My need for Frankie was a strong force and I hadn't the strength to keep fighting it. I may not be going about it right but it's the only way I know. After bringing her home that night after pulling her from the water, I watched her sleep. It was then that I decided that I would no longer run from my feelings. Starting right then I would be a new man. However there is the tiny issue of me being who I am. Frankie has barely uttered a word to me and I fear she may reject me because of my status and my past behavior concerning her. Let me rephrase that... Try to reject me. There's no way in hell that I will allow that woman out of my sight.  She's in everything I do these day's. Not a moment goes by that she doesn't pop into my mind and when she does I catch myself smiling into open space. Not only that, but my stomach tightens and I get this funny feeling. Perhaps it's what they call butterflies but I don't want to admit that. I'm a man and men don't get such feelings. It shows weakness and I can't let any woman be my weakness. When you're weak over a woman that's when you start making mistakes and getting soft. Next thing you know you've slipped up and find yourself with a bullet in the head.

That's why l must keep Frankie in line. She will learn to obey me and follow my lead. Sure, I'm being soft on her right now due to her illness and I feel guilty but once she's back to herself we  will have that talk. Frankie must abide by my rules and learn how to be a respectful queen. As long as she follows my rules I will treat her like royalty but if she doesn't I will punish her.

Several more day's went by and finally Frankie was back to normal. Earlier this morning she demanded to go home but I locked her in my room. When she called down I had my men escort her to my office. Frankie walked in and her attitude was big enough to fill the room. "Have a seat". I ordered.

Frankie flipped down into the chair rolling her eye's. "It's time we discuss a few thing's Frankie".

Without sparing me a glance she gritted out. "Unless it has anything to do with my leaving I suggest you save your word's. I want to go home".

As calmly as I could I replied. "This is your home now Frankie. You are mine. There are a few rules we should go over".

Frankie remained quiet as she looked down at her nails in defiance. Continuing on, I begin. "As my girlfriend and possibly future queen certain behavior is expected of you. For one you are never to undermine me in front of my men or anyone for that matter. My word is never to be contested. At meetings or other events you are to remain seen, not heard. Never impose on my work. When I do allow you to go out I must know your whereabouts and my men must accompany you. If you disobey me in any form you will be punished" .

An eerie quiet had settled in the room.  It seemed that an eon had passed before Frankie spoke but when she did I nearly toppled out of my chair from shock. Never had she been so mean and hateful. Rising from her chair she stood before me with her arm's crossed and a smug look. "First off King, I'm not your girlfriend and definitely not a queen or whatever you insist I be. Do you recall my past? All the thing's my foster parent's forced me to do? Where in your right mind would you think that I'd ever allow another person to order me around? It simply will not happen. I didn't break free from my past just to enter a future just like it. I'll fight you tooth and nail. You may be some mafia God and even a cold blooded killer but I'll never relent. Yes, I am scared of you, I'll admit that. You could kill me at any given time but death is a better option then being your prisoner because that's what you want me to be. Relationships don't work this way, not in my world anyways. You do not order your other half to bow down. I'll never bow to no one, especially you. Have you forgotten how you treated me when I was smitten with you? Key word there is was. I'm no longer tied to you in any form. Every word that falls from your lips only pushes me further away. Here's another news worthy headline.... I was strong and independent before I laid eye's upon you. I carved out a comfortable life for myself and called my own shots. It might not have been an honest life but I took care of myself. Never did I ask you for a damn thing and I'm not about to start now. You are sadly delusional if you think I'll give up my freedom, my independence and my dignity to remain here as your lap dog. "

Leaning over my desk, Frankie placed her palms atop my desk and pinned me down with her eye's. "This conversation is over but let me warn you..... If you even attempt to keep me here, I will not go down without a hell of a fight. I will make every waking moment misery for you until you beg me to leave... Or kill me. Choice is yours".

With a snap of her head, Frankie turned to go. I watched as she sauntered from my office with her head held high, back rod straight and confidence in her gait. Smiling, I thought to myself "she's already a queen and doesn't know it. Games on Frankie".