DOUBLE EDGED A Harper's Book. (Book 10)

Just When I Think I'm Okay

"Humpfhhh". I grunted as I wobbled my way into my new chic apartment carrying a arm full of shopping bags.

Sitting the bags down on the kitchen table with a thud, I opened my fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. Collapsing into the nearest chair, I cracked the plastic top off and guzzled the cool liquid. Instantly my throat came alive as the parched feeling was watered away. I gave a comical snort,  laughing in spite of myself. What idiot would think that balancing multiple bags and opting to take the stairs instead of the convenient elevator was a clever idea? A girl who's trying to adjust to a new life, that's who.

I've been in my new pad for nearly a month now and in an attempt to move on and heal I'm making several life changes. In a sense this entire messy ordeal has made me grow up. Of course my heart and emotions are still raw but each day is a new beginning. I no longer have to answer to anyone or ask for permission to do something. I am free but freedom came with pain and scars. Often I forget that I'm no longer married to CJ and I half expect him to waltz through the door at any time. Then other time's I berate myself for not seeing what was happening right in front of me. Maybe had I known sooner thing's could've ended different. Maybe we could've worked it out but this is how it should be.

In a attempt to move on with my life I've thrown myself into new activities. I started a new job at a nearby bakery. No, after my split with CJ I don't need money but I can't just widdle away my time. Besides baking relaxes me. Also I signed up for a few more business courses at NYU. My goal is to open my own coffee shop in the future. Yes, I'm still the coffee girl. Not only that but I take yoga plus a cardio class three time's a week. Keeping busy helps me heal and keep my mind off of thing's but it's for me as well. For the first time I am free to discover who I truly am and what I want out of life and relationships. This is my chance to grow and learn so I'm taking that challenge on full force.

Yes, I still have a close bond with the Harper's. Miri checks on me daily and invites me to dinner occasionally but I decline. The best way to get rid of the infection is to cut it off and CJ is the infection. However he still calls me to make sure I'm okay or ask if I need anything but the answer is always no. Even though I act friendly toward him feel down I resent him. He lied to me, embarrassed me and hurt me. Sorry, but I'm not ready to share a family dinner with him present. I still chat with Mizery but I haven't seen her because she's currently in Vegas with Aiden.  Then there's Tia. We get together once a week and talk several times a day. In fact we are suppose to meet for drinks later this evening.

With that in mind I knew I needed to get up and start preparing for our outting. Standing, I opened my bags up and begin putting the health food I had purchased away. That's just another new thing I've taken up recently... Eating better. As I was placing the kiwi into a fruit container that guarantees to keep thing's fresh a slinder hand slid around the back of my neck. Startled, I released a squeal and spun around. No matter how hard I stared I couldn't come to terms with what I was seeing.

She gave me a red lipped Cheshire grin and spoke like silk. "So, I hear you got duped by a Harper man as well?"

I couldn't answer. My jaws didn't want to cooperate. She grunted in annoyance. "Dear God, say something girl" .

"You. Wait. What is going on? Are you really her?"

Crossing her arm's she rolled her beautiful eye's. "Take a seat girl. We need to have a chat".

Like a robot, I complied. She chose a seat across from me and looked so beautiful sitting there. "If this is really you, your pictures do you no justice. You are outstanding" .

Flicking her red lacquered nails on my table she spoke in a velvety tone. "Beauty is only skin deep. What matters is what's on the inside. I may look like a prize to the eye's but rest assured... I can kill you and not even move from this chair to do so".

Gulping, I spoke in a trembling voice. "Are you here to kill me?"

Laughing like the siren she was she replied. "Not at all..... Unless you give me a reason to. Tell me Alice, will you give me a reason to?"

I shook my head no. "No. But may I ask why you are here? I'm so confused" .

"I need answers. Answers you will give me".

" I-I don't know anything ".

Once again she rattled off with that soul possessing laugh. "Oh but you do Alice. Let me begin by saying I was never dead. Marcus and Jax saved me from my husband. London planned this all. He wanted me gone once and for all but guess what? Im back and madder than hell. You've been in my home, around my family. Tell me what's going on".

Shrugging my shoulders, I stuttered. "Nothing. Honest. Everyone assumed you are dead. Cj and the others are heartbroken over losing you. They miss you terribly. Even the King. They claim he isn't the same without you".

She leaned back in her chair. "Either you're a good liar or you was kept in the dark about the truth of my disappearance" .

I didn't know what to say so I continued to set there quite. Studying her nails, she spoke again. "Yes, they must have kept you in the dark. Hell, you couldn't even detect that my grandson was pulling the wool over your eye's so how could you possibly know anything else?"

I wanted to lash out at her but fear kept me from doing so. Obviously she read the hurt on my face. "Awww... Did I hurt your feelings? Tough. You see my grandson is a Harper man. They require a strong female, one that will stand up to them and call them on their shit. That's why CJ had a wandering eye and fell out of love with you. You wasn't interesting enough. You was weak and definitely not queen material."

Tears laced my eye's at her cold word's. Standing up, she walked behind my chair and bent down to my ear. "Don't cry girl. Be strong and get your revenge on the Harper's. Never let them have the last laugh. Here's what you are going to do. You've got access to the Den and their home's. You're going to make me copies of all of their business matters so we can destroy them from the inside first. Show them that you can be a queen. Show CJ what he let go but most importantly, show them that they can't treat you like this".

I didn't want to do this at all. I loved the Harper's and they never once laughed at me for my calmer ways. "If I refuse?"

There was that grin again. "Refuse and find out. Oh, and if you talk to them about this I will know. I'll be back soon to collect my info. Don't disappoint me".

And just like that she was gone.