hear you - malum

monday - march thirteenth

he waves, i keep my gaze on the ground and stalk to his car. i was perfectly happy with michael and he just had to ruin it, didn't he?

i sit in the backseat, pulling my knees to my chest after my seatbelt is buckled in. i purposefully sit behind luke so he can't see me. i don't even want to be here.

i feel the seat vibrating with the heavy bass of a song. i remember being younger and wanting to be a bass player when i grew up. now, i'm not so sure.

i doze off on the way to wherever we're going, relieving me from unbearable silence (as if i had a choice) and ignoring luke. when i wake up, i have a text from my mother and three from michael.

from: mumma

ok hun, have fun!

from: stupid face

are you okay??

did luke insult you again

answer me callieeeee

i text michael back.

to: stupid face

sorry! fell asleep lol im fine we rnt evn there yet!

i look out the window. not much time has passed, since the sun hasn't even begun to set yet. i tap luke's shoulder, deciding on communication for the first time.

he shrugs my hand away and turns around. "come up and i'll talk to you."

i sigh and climb into the passenger seat. i use my hands to ask where we're going, earning a cheeky smile from luke. "can't say! it's a surprise."

i sign again, "we aren't friends. tell me where."

i physically see him sigh. "my mum's friend is having dinner."

i remember going over to a friend of luke's mother's before, after i came out to everyone. she didn't take it so well. i hoped that wasn't where we were heading now.

sure enough, the familiar house i stormed out of three years ago comes into view. i shoot an angry glance at luke. why me?

"so, calum, how do you like the-"

i shake my head in confusion. i can't read her lips- i turn to luke with a look of terror. i sign "what?" under the table.

he pulls out his phone slyly and types the word out for me. casserole. i can read it.

i point to the disgusting blob of cheese and something on my plate, pushed to the furthest regions of the porcelain. mrs. mark grins and nods at me. i return her enthusiastic smile-and-nod routine, trying to seem convincible as i gave a thumbs up.

conversation continues on without me, luke occasionally nudging me for input.

this is one of the times where his shoulder bumps mine and i look up from my barely touched plate at mr. mark. "so, mister hood, are you still in that..." he pauses, seeming to chuckle, "homosexual phase of yours?"

i can feel my insides churning, my cheeks heating up. i cough, ignoring the flare in my chest at the thought of how awful i sound. i quickly turn towards luke and sign as angrily as I ever had, gloriously managing to keep swears from my monologue.

luke speaks, translating for me. he usually starts with, "in the words of calum."

it goes a little something like this:

"with all due respect, mister mark, being gay is not a phase and i am very happy with my choice. i would appreciate it if you could not talk about my sexuality, since it's none of your business. alright?"

i read the man's lips with butterflies in my stomach, my hands folding over each other and my knees bouncing in nervous habit.

"well, quite frankly, it is my business. if there's a faggot-" the word burns through my skin, reopening wounds I wish i didn't even have- "in my house, hell even in my town, i have the right to know!"

i see his wife try to calm the both of us down. then i see luke's body still sitting in his seat, and then the floor beneath me as i run out the house.

i wait. i wait a long time, but he never comes out.

to: stupid head

come pick me up?

from: stupid head

:( on my way, what's the address

i hate luke. i don't hate michael.

a/n: god luke