To Learn To Fall (Sequel to the Other Side)

Chapter Twenty Four

"Of course I'm happy. Why wouldn't I be happy?"

"Yeah, we believe you," Lafayette said flatly, not sounding like he believed me. "Because we're all idiots."

"I am happy. I don't need him. He doesn't need me. We weren't good together. It doesn't matter. It's over now." Every single one of those was a lie, and they knew it just as much as I did.

"Alexander," Eliza sighed. "You're such a moron."

"Well, I didn't ask you what you thought." I turned away from her and glared elsewhere. I longed to hit something, to scream, to do something violent and chaotic so I could get rid of the piles of frustration that kept mounting up every day. "When we were in the cave, I called him something," I said as calmly as I could. "What did it mean?"

"Daescortum? It means demon's whore," Peggy said, happy to help out. As if the whole thing didn't affect her, and I was starting to think that maybe it didn't. "It's what they used to call Tenebrie before we understood them. A lot of people still do calm them that."

"Of course it does," I said, dropping to the ground. Did everything in the universe conspire to make me hate myself? Divinity, I could still picture the face he made when the words flew from my mouth; the hurt in his eyes still burned the back of my head. I hated it. I hated him, mostly because I hated how miserable he made me when he was gone.

"Thomas," Hercules said suddenly, making me raise my head to see where he was looking. "There you are."

I opened my mouth to greet him but stopped almost immediately. His usual attire was gone, replaced by a short, white shirt that was embroidered with complicated blue and golden designs and only covered the top of his chest and short pants that ended just above the knee. Two ribbons of white lace billowed in the air from behind him, connected to the golden cuffs around his arms.

I had to force myself to close my mouth and meet his eyes.

"How'd it go?" asked James, standing up straight.

He hugged his arms. "Well, she called me an insolent, selfish child that cared only for himself and told me that I abandoned my home, my people, and my family, all before slapping me. Then, she hugged me and told me how much she missed me." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "So you know. The usual."

"What are you wearing?" Lafayette asked, more curious than rude.

Thomas shrugged. "Traditional clothing of my people."

"Do we have to wear it too?"

Thomas glanced behind him and smiled. "You should be fine. As long as you don't say anything about it in front of my family. But anyway, now that my mother has relieved most of her wrath on me, she's ready to meet you all. Keep your head bowed and don't speak to her unless spoken to. There are quite a lot of rules about court and stuff that my mother likes to hold onto. Sound good?"

When nobody offered up a protest, a staircase to the platform above us appeared from nothing, and Thomas stepped aside to let us all through. I stopped by him for a second. "Thomas, I'm sorry."

His hand rose to his face. "Don't be. She didn't hit me too hard."

"That isn't what—"

"I'm sorry, can you hold that thought for a second please?" He asked as a pair of what looked to be guards sauntered up to us. He fled quickly to speak to them, leaving me alone, staring at my feet.

I'm not upset. I'm not upset, I said to myself, feeling very upset.

The guards disappeared a moment later, and Thomas led us through the hallways of the castle. The architecture was very dependent on the use of a single mighty tree, even having some of the branches spiraling through the floor and up through the ceiling. It was very different from the castle I was used to, in that it was almost made entirely from wood. I appreciated the comfort it brought, though.