Friends Don't, But We Do

21. We Say Goodbye, Sort Of

From then on, the summer goes by quickly. Any free time we have between my job and his training, is spent together or with his family- who invite me over much more freely now that they know I'm dating their brother/son. I'm not just a friend, I'm someone they have full liberty to hang out with as the family.

But Nolan is always itching to get alone time, not that I'm complaining.

One night at Dairy Queen, he brought up that his summer has only two weeks left before he has to head down to Philly. I had known the day would come since the beginning, but it feels different now that we're not just friends.

"I know," I mumble, not knowing what else to say. "Do you wanna keep dating, long distance?"

"You know I wanna be with you," he says quickly. "I've been wanting to be with you since high school."

I smile, the weight of his words coming to me. "Me too."

My response sends him into bliss. His smile widens and he launches into a speech about how we can make it work. "We can FaceTime everyday, and I already looked at the schedule, we play Winnipeg in November. And then Christmas, we can see each other," he blurts, looking at me expectantly. He sounds like he thought a lot about it.

"That all sounds good," I agree happily, forcing a smile to my face. I must not be good at hiding all my feelings though, because his smile turns to concern.

Seeing his mood change so quickly makes me upset, knowing I'm the reason for it.

"What's wrong?"

I shake my head, "nothing."

He reaches for my hand across the table and asks again. Finally I give in, because it's useless hiding things from him. I've been holding in the thought that he's going back to a place where's he's a celebrity and is gonna have girls throwing themselves at him yet again. And I won't be there. This was my whole problem all along, but the last few weeks with him were so good that I hadn't even thought about him leaving.

I sigh, "If you wanna maybe... hook up with other girls when we aren't together, that's okay. I won't hold it against you." I know how things are with athletes, and there will be a lot of time between us seeing each other. In a perfect world, he wouldn't need to.

"What are you- like an open relationship?"

I shrug. I don't plan to sleep with other people, but if having a label on it will help him, then
sure: an open relationship.

He retracts his hand, pushing them both under the table and to his lap. "Look I know I'm gonna be gone most of the year, so if you wanna get with other guys I'll feel stupid saying you can't. But I don't think I'll wanna be with anyone else." His cheeks are pale rather than red, an oddity for him.

I shake my head quickly. "No, no I don't wanna be with anyone else. I was just saying that for you... if you wanted. You're a young pro athlete, and you're hot so ..." I don't know how else to say that girls probably throw themselves at him.

"So you think cuz I'm in the NHL that I'm a slut now, huh?" The color is back in his cheeks, and a glimmer back in his eye. I laugh, covering my mouth and shaking my head. "No! I just, I don't know!" I'm glad that this didn't get awkward, but things never get awkward with me and him.

"So, we aren't sleeping with other people?" He asks, searching for clarification. I shake my head, looking in his eyes for any hesitation. I see none.

"Ok, good. I hate sharing," he announces, grinning sweetly at me from across the table. It makes me wanna jump this table right now and kiss him, but I remain restrained. I know he'll be staying over tonight. I'll have plenty opportunity to kiss him tonight.