Hiraeth | Regulus Black

Chapter Fourteen

"You're speaking like we're all about to become Death Eaters." Regulus pointed out, "Don't you forget your family is as manic as mine. If not worse."
"Worse? Even if I'm not in Slytherin, my parents still love me. What can your parents say to that?" Esme retorted, her cheeks flushing red with anger.

"Don't you dare!" Regulus almost yelled, "The things I've heard about your father... Lucas Avery would be the first to become a Death Eater. I'd put money on it." His hands shook now.

"Your family is the one that's going to throw my life down the drain! I-I can't have that!" She exclaimed.
Regulus scoffed, "If the muggles destroy our society, there'll be no lives left for any of us to lead."

"Oh what, so you're agreeing with Death Eaters now?"
"It's safer than not. I also know that my family will protect me. Can you say the same about yours? Do you believe your parents will protect you, when they've left you here at this point in time?"

The girl tugged at her own hair, "Whoever's family is worse... It doesn't matter. I want a life, I have a future ahead of me. If... If I get linked to that sort of dark magic I'll never be able to look another wizard in the eye. We won't be able to work, we'll most likely be arrested just by association. If what you've said is true, we're done for." She sighed sadly, falling back down into her seat.

"Esme..." Regulus comforted slowly, the anger seeping out of his body, "You have to understand the risks associated with muggle borns. It's nearly impossible to stay out of it. I don't know if it'll be okay." He sat down on the arm of the chair.

"As if-"
"I try though. To make it okay. I don't want a part in any of this mess but I have no choice. If-If you want to stay out of this, then I'll promise to make sure you're not involved." He placed a hand on her knee and the two locked eyes before Esme suddenly pulled away from him. As she pushed her body against the far side of the chair to avoid contact with the boy, she noticed a feeling of emptiness. It was almost as if she felt cold, not having his hand on her anymore.

"I erm..." The girl tucked some hair behind her ear, "I used Polyjuice potion to transform into my brother and question you to see what you knew - that's how I found out." She explained.

"You what?" The boy leant back in shock, his jaw hanging open. As much as he wanted to question her further, there were more immediate, pressing matters.
She ran her tongue over her bottom lip, "I had to know. If I'm going to escape this-this life I've been trapped in, I need to be a step ahead of everyone else."

"Esme..." Regulus ran a hand over his hair, combing it back, "I didn't completely mean what I said before. There are people here that care about you. I-I'm certain of that. It isn't my place to criticise your family; I'm certain they care so deeply for you."

Esmeralda folded her arms sceptically, "You were right. I don't believe they genuinely do. At least, they don't care for me or my brother more than their pureblood beliefs. If they did, they wouldn't abandon us in these dark times."

"But... Esme, it's always going to be dark times if things don't change. That's what some people don't realise. All it takes is for one muggle parent to fear magic just enough to reveal our secrets to the whole world. There's still magical communities under persecution today, and I don't want to risk us becoming part of that. I want to feel safe, but I have this constant fear of us being revealed. Who's to stop that from happening? Can you guarantee our secret's safety? Or that we'll never be under threat?"

Esme rose to her feet, stepping towards the door to leave, "That's where you're wrong. Do you know why there are wizards under persecution all over the world? It's because some people fear magic. Why do the muggles fear magic? Perhaps it's to do with the psychopathic fascist madman on the loose murdering muggles and muggle borns. If our society was peaceful, if no wizard posed a threat, then there'd be nothing for anybody to fear. If the Death Eaters weren't kidnapping and murdering countless people, muggle parents wouldn't fear for their children."

"Esme-"

"No." She pushed open the door and looked back at the boy with dark eyes, "The world isn't black and white - wizards versus muggles. You need to open your mind and stop forcing your views onto other people. If your opinion results in other people being harmed, then your opinion is wrong. I don't want to hear it. I never want to hear it. All of this... All of it, disgusts and terrifies me."

With that, the door slammed and Regulus Black was left with a lot of thoughts to mull over as he sat alone in the office. Despite being surrounded by his own moral questions, he felt more alone than ever knowing how Esme truly felt about him.

Disgust and terror. Those words would keep the boy up that night, tossing and turning but unable to get the sound of her voice out of his head.

There had to be something he could do. Regulus Black was smart, and he would figure out what he needed to do.