pinkhart

how he met my mother | the ultimatum

What a perfect dinner that was.

Did you feel the sarcasm? Good. I'm about to kill my self, so this is probably the last memoir you wil have from me. Things couldn't be going worse. First of all... Sophia was acting so damn strange — and I just couldn't figure it out why! When I locked her in the toilet with me and told her I was 3 weeks late — yes, my period late — she only said "this is completly normal". Is it? Is it really? Because last time I checked a late period actually meant a baby in my motherfucking uterus — which I couldn't deal with right now! Here's the best about this newsflash: Jesse doesn't know. But guess who knows: if you said "your younger cousin that was hiding inside de cupboard under the sink in the toilet you were in", you just got it right. He heard the entire conversation about babies and now he was  running around the house while everybody ate dinner.

By the way, the food was spetacular.

At least what I could eat of it. Most of the it I had too use my drink to make it pass my throat. I wasn't even bothered with Lorenzo's malicious insinuations. I just didn't wanted that Kevin — the kid — dropped the "B" bomb in the middle of dinner. Everytime he came out running to his father my heart stopped a bit and I died and then come back to life when realize he wasn't talking about me and my baby. Jesus, I'm already saying "me and my baby". How can I say that after drinking a dry martini? What kind of mother was I? I looked at Jesse. He was so focus in his food like if the peas and mashed potatoes were so interesting. Awkward or not, sometimes I could swear he was looking at Sophia. 

Great. Maybe I was pregnant and Jesse was going to dump me to be with my sister. Plus my baby would be born mentally retardad because of all the alcohol I drank. He didn't even bother telling everybody on the table that the blazer he was using — over the black darth vader shirt — was the prom blazer from mister White's son. Don't ask me about that mister White guy. I have no idea who he is. Then, of course, came "the" question.

— What do you work with, mister Pink? — Yes, my mother just called him "mister pink". May I just say that I didn't stuck my head in my mashed potatoes because this makeup cost me a fortune.

— I'm a... huh... I'm a chemist. I mean, like... I do chemistry stuff, you know, huh, like... chemicals.

They were suprised. I was aswell — he had already told me this information, but I've never seen his work. Sophia asked to me excused and left the table and so did Hugh following her — they were probably going to smoke marijuana so they could get trough the dinner party. Before going my brother asked me to keep an eye on his child. Jolene and another maid started to change dinner plates for dessert plates — it was tarte tatin with vanilla ice cream, really delicious. I touched Jesse's knee which made him look at me kind of scared like if I had awakened him from a dream. 

— Are you ok? 

— Why do you ask? — Why so suspicious? A cellular started ringing and we all discover to be Lorenzo's. Work, he said, while standing up to take the call. At the table was me, mother, father and boyfriend. Another awkward moment for my collection. 

— I think the dinner went quite well. — I said in some of my cutest moments breaking the silent.

— Yes, we didn't think you would survive, mister Pinkman. — My father added, having a sip of water while looking in his eyes. — You know... because you're not part of this.

— But he could be, dad.

— Not everyone can. What's your true intentions with my daughter?

— Dad!

— I, huh, I... I mean... I just... I don't know, man, I just like her a lot, yo. And I want, huh, I just want to be around her. With her. You know what I mean? I, huh, I know I'm not like these model husbands or something and I don't really know what I'm supposed to say but hell yeah, bitch, I love this girl and well, that's why I'm here, right?