Chapter 14

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Christina's POV

I follow the doc up to Bella's room and hesitate at the door. I slowly open it and take a step inside. Bella is laying in bed, her eyes closed. She looks so sad and fragile.

The moment she hears the door open, however, her eyes quickly open.

"Chrissy," she says and moves to one side of the bed, basically inviting me to sit next to her. I do and the moment I sit down, she clings to me.

"Thank you for saving me," she whispers.

"You're my sister and I love you babygirl, I'll always do my best to save you from anything," I tell her honestly.

"If it weren't for you I'd probably be dead," she says quietly and then starts to cry. I hug her tight as she cries and I realize I'm crying some too.

I realize we were so close to losing her, that if it weren't for her text to me, I probably would have found her dead in our bathroom. I start to cry really hard as I think about that.

"Chrissy," Bella whispers my nickname and it breaks me from my thoughts. I notice the worried look on her face.

"I-I just thought of what could've happened," I say and tears pour out of her eyes.

"It didn't though. I'm here, you're safe," she tells me and squeezes my hand. I lay there for a few minutes until I work up the nerve to ask her what I want to know.

"What happened exactly? Why did you do this?" I ask. She takes a deep breath and looks down.

"There was so much pressure on me, it's hard taking care of the family. I felt so alone and um... I kinda started cutting again a few days after Mom and Dad died. I was too scared to tell anyone. That's why I acted weird when we found out about Dani. More than anything I wanted to tell you and have a warm reassuring hug but I was too stubborn to say anything. I was scared. And then today..." she rambles and then stops. A few tears slip out of her eyes. Her voice quiets to a whisper, "I was done with feeling so alone. I felt like I was a burden to you guys so after you all left I lay on my bed thinking for a while. Then I stopped thinking altogether. I cut myself so many times and I was so scared when I realized what I had done. That's when I texted you. It hurt so bad Chrissy. More than anything it hurt because I realized the moment I saw you that I had made a huge mistake. That I didn't want to die."

I'm crying now just as she is. I can't stop. I don't know what to say to her. I hug her as tight as I can.

"I'm not leaving Belle," I tell her. She snuggles up to me and I hear her breathing slow after a while. I know she's asleep.

How did everything get so messed up? How did my little sister think killing herself was the best thing? I'm so so glad she's safe now and realized it was a mistake but why did she have to actually try it to find out?! Just.... why?

Bella's POV

My eyes flutter open and I realize it's morning. The light is filtering in through the window. Wait a second... this room looks different. This isn't mine. Oh right, hospital bed. Suddenly everything about yesterday comes rushing back to me.

I turn over and watch Christina sleep. I'm so glad she's here. I needed to tell her everything and finally I did.

Today I have to face my other sisters though which is going to be harder than talking to Christina. Plus they saw what I did... they're scared and hurt and probably so many other emotions.

I shift a little in the bed and groan in pain. So many cuts on me, they hurt bad when I move. Christina opens one eye quickly.

"Are you okay?" she asks.

"Yeah, just hurts to move around. I'm fine," I tell her and she nods and closes her eyes again. I stare at the white walls of this hospital room and think.

After a while I ask, "What am I supposed to tell them?" She opens her eyes once more and looks at me sadly.

"I can't tell you that. They all saw what you did. It's up to you if you tell them what you told me or if you only tell them part of it," she says. I nod. What she said makes sense. I think I'll tell them most of it, maybe just leave out how long I've been cutting. If Kath or Lisa ask, I'll tell them but I won't tell everyone. It would only hurt them more.

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