Sugar

57 - The End

"What are you doing here?" I asked, wiping away an escaped tear that was trailing down my face, looking up at his mismatched eyes.

"To get you, to tell you not to leave," he admitted, stepping back from me and dropping his hand from my arm, putting a little bit of space between the two of us that was definitely welcome.

"Why, Vincent?" I asked, part of me hoping maybe he would give me an answer worth staying. Maybe he would tell me he loved me too, or that he couldn't stand the idea of life without me, but I knew it wasn't the answer I'd receive.

I knew as I started into his blue and brown eyes that searched my face relentlessly, that he didn't love me.

"Well, because...I don't know," he explained exasperatedly, running a hand through his waywardly hair. "I'll try! Is that what you want to hear? Will you stay if I try?" He asked, eyes brightening slightly at this new idea of his, his demeanor peaking slightly.

"Try what?" I asked, furrowing my brows as I stared at him.

"Commitment, that's what you want right?" He asked, his tone almost distant, he was grasping at straws.

I smiled sadly, shaking my head at him, tears brimming in my eyes.

He didn't want me to stay so we could be together. He wanted me to stay so I can continue to be in his life without the strings. He wanted me to stay off to the side while he continued with his lifestyle that he had before me, he didn't want commitment, and if he did it surely wasn't with me.

I knew well enough to know that this was his way of getting me to stay. He wanted me but didn't want me.

I hesitantly stepped forward, towards him and cupped his face, leaning up onto my tippy toes and pressing my lips to his. I relished in the feeling, tears rolling slowly down my cheeks. This kiss wasn't feverish like our others, this was soft and gentle, it was a goodbye.

I pulled back after a moment, releasing a sad sigh.

"I love you, Vincent De Bellis." I smiled sadly up at him with a teary gaze. His expression was hardened and confused, his dark brows pinched together and his familiar gaze was nothing short of hurt. "But for the first time when it comes to you, I'm choosing me."

He watched me wordlessly as I stepped back and pulled my door open, glancing at him silently before sliding into my seat and slamming the door. I knew his gaze was locked on me, I could feel it, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him as I turned the key and listened to the car come to life.

I shifted my car into gear and at the last second, I glanced over to him. He was stood in his casual clothing, his hair still just as messy, if not messier, than when he'd arrived. His gaze was worn and tired.

I locked that image of Vincent De Bellis in my mind in hopes to keep it forever.

With one last parting glance, I pressed my foot onto the gas pedal and turned my gaze back to the pavement ahead of my car, my heart crawling up and finding a home in my throat. As I peeled out of the parking lot, watching Vincent get smaller in my rearview mirror, I felt the weirdest mixture of bravery and heartbreak I'd ever felt and probably would ever feel in my life.

On that ride as I listened to the music from the radio, I opened myself up for the pain to come in, inviting it wholeheartedly because I knew in order for it to heal, I would have to let it hurt first. Every kiss and every touch, every smile and every grin, I let it hurt. I sat in the hurt and ache, and kept reminding myself that I would rise again.

The sun will still shine, and the birds will still chirp.

And I will not stop listening.

Falling in love with Vincent Alexander was one of the biggest pleasures of my life, one that I will cherish forever in years to come. One that I will remember so fondly.

He was the fairytale prince that every girl wants, but he was just meant for someone else.

Just as I was.

• • •

q: how did you like the book?? 😬
(pls don't hate me)