𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐗 ━━ 𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐤 𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐝

twenty eight | oxygen

"Marina Wagner, the colon cancer patient, right?"

I walk into the O.R., gloved and masked with my scrub cap, and relish in the feeling of being back inside the room.

"Phoenix, where's O'Malley?"

"Marriage caught up to him. Hard."

"Right." He nods slightly.

My father extends his right hand. "BokHee, tenblade, please." And the surgery begins.

A few moments after making the incision, surgical nurses and staff grow sick almost instantly. I grab onto the cart when my legs go numb.

"Dad?"

----------

"Let me go."

Addison tries to push me back onto the gurney, but I sit up against her hold. My hand grasps the oxygen mask, and I take it off.

"Phoenix, you're more susceptible than anyone out here, got it?"

"Where is my father, Addison?"

"He's unconscious."

My gaze lands on one of the exam rooms, noticing my father's stable body resting in one of the beds.

"Hey." Derek speedily walks towards me. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Tell Addison. . .that I am not resting until I save her."

"You're not going back in there, Leven." His fingers graze the top of my hand.

"Like hell I'm not." My voice drops to a hoarse whisper.

"Dr. Phoenix."

"No, Shepherd. There's nothing you can say that's going to change my mind."

Addison heaves a heavy breath. "She can come with us."

"Addison —"

"It could help to have more hands in there."

"I can't believe you two."

"I've been in there once already. I can help."

So, just like that, I have the honor of going into the toxic O.R. a second time, this time with fullon suits and oxygen tanks.

"These suits are airtight."

"And these packs circulate the air inside."

"These batteries haven't been charging long." Mark helps to fix the back of my suit. "I'm guessing you two have about thirty minutes before they die and you have to come out."

"Oh my God." Addison breathes tensely. "The anesthesia's wearing off. She's waking up."

"Thirty minutes starting. . .now." Burke clicks the timer.

"She's fighting intubation." The neonatal expert states.

Burke's quick to contradict. "You go inside before these seals are secure, you won't last five minutes, and she will die."

"Guess you can pick Cristina for the transplant tomorrow."

"Phoenix."

"Shutting up, Dr. Burke."

Without thinking, Addison runs into the room with a mask and doses her with propofol to put her back to sleep.

As soon as the sliding doors open and she stumbles back inside, Derek and I enter the O.R..

"They're not going to fit, Derek."

"Stop right there." The chief speaks from the gallery. "The bowels swelled, won't have any room. How much time do you have left?"

"Eight minutes." Mark answers from the scrub room.

Derek glances up at me, but I try to ignore his intense stare.

"Okay, listen to me. And do everything I say."

An entire crowd fills the gallery, watching as me and Derek attempt to save the woman's life while risking our own.

"Leven, you'll need to milk the bowel to get out the excess fluid." He instructs. "Pack her and wrap her. Get her stable for transport."

"Derek —"

"Not now, Leven."

"How are you doing on air?"

"I can. . .I can push through for another minute or two." My throat dries up. "Dr. Shepherd looks sicker than me so I think he should. . .go."

"No. No, I'm not leaving. . .leaving her." Derek shakes his head slowly.

All of a sudden, dark spots from the corners of my vision fill the room. I swallow deeply, feeling my body slowly give up.

"Leven!"

----------

"Heroic work. All of you. Absolutely heroic."

"Any more patients you need to check on?" I go to sit up in bed, but my weak body collapses back into the pillows. "You know what? I think I'm good here."

"Keep an eye on her." The chief states. "She's her father's daughter."

For once, the statement is more empowering than degrading. I smile from behind my oxygen mask, proud to be similarized to my father.

"Is this what it feels like to be old?" I glance down at the oxygen tank.

"No. No, this isn't what it's like to be old." Derek replies. "This is what it's going to be like for the rest of your life if you don't start taking your health seriously."

He silently sits up and walks away from the group, oxygen tank in tow.

Damn it, Leven.