Despised Love

Shocked

Muriel

Nathan sat in the living room on the couch with me. I occupied two-thirds of the sofa, lying down with my head on his lap. He twisted and played with my black hair in between his fingers as we chatted.

"I wonder what the results of those tests would be." Nathan thought aloud. "I'm really nervous."

"Ugh..would you stop disturbing the peace I'm trying to enjoy here!" I retorted jovially.

"If anything at all, I should be the one freaking the freak out. If it turns out positive, I'll be the one carrying your monster for nine solid months!" I said stating as a matter of fact.

"Could you at least be happy about the fact that we might be having a baby!" Nathan said exasperated.

"Sweetheart you know I'm happy. I was just stating the obvious."

"I'd be going to the cemetery today. It's exactly a year since my father's death. I want to guess you'd be coming. We can go to you mother's grave after. It's the same day right?"

I hummed my answer. "Last week you were much devastated than today. I'm happy to see you quite cheered up though. It's good." I told him.

"You too." he replied.

"Well what are we waiting for? Let's hurry. It's almost twelve mid-day." I said rising from his lap.

We were going to the doctor to take the results. I knew that it was a ninety-nine percent chance that I was pregnant so I wasn't so nervous like Nathan. I guess the thought of being a father got him all worked up.

We entered the hospital and walked straight to the receptionist. When we told her who we wanted to see, she directed us there though we knew the way to his office already. Knocking steadily on the door, we entered when he responded.

After exchanging greetings, we went straight to the main topic. He handed over the results and gave me in particular, quite a lecture on what to do and what I shouldn't do. I paid attention to part of it but for the other part, I just kept nodding while checking out the various chart displayed across the room.

***

"I'm a father Muriel!" Nathan announced proudly and hugged me. I returned the hug.

I had given him the results when we got home. I knew it already. I knew the joy that it would bring him to check for himself. So I let him.

With the wide grin plastered on his face, he held my hand turned me around then drew me into his warm embrace as we rocked from side to side.

***

Later that night, when we arrived from the cemetery, the whole pack was gathered in the living room.

"What's this gathering about?"Robert whispered loud enough for me to hear. A woman with a tray of glass with champagne  in it passed by and I picked one.

Nathan didn't answer Robert but went on to draw the attention of the murmuring pack. When all eyes were on him he spoke.

"I'm sorry for disturbing anyone who was quite busy before this meeting. Instead of beating about the bush, I'd just go straight to the point." he paused. The place was so silent a pin drop could be heard. Then he continued. "Muriel and I are expecting a baby."

The silence was broken by the loud gasps in the room which turned into 'awws' from women and silly comments from the men. Then the sound of 'congratulations' filled the air.

"Cheers to the new baby."Robert beamed and raised his glass.

"Cheers!" the pack chorused. Then the sound of clinking glasses.

We chatted happily late into the night until people began leaving for their rooms. As always, Nathan, Robert and I were the last to go to bed.

***

I woke up only to find Nathan's spot empty. I really didn't bother 'cause most of the time he'd be up doing paper work.

I lay in bed for sometime thinking about how it felt to be a mother then something caught my eye. As I crawled out of bed and neared the shelf, I realised it was the small diary I had seen sometime ago on that same shelf. I picked it out of its hiding place and walked over to the bed and plonked down on it.

I opened the book and saw the date of my mother's death as well as Nathan's dad. I flipped the first page and read. Then flipped and read until I had finished the whole diary.

My mouth was wide in shock as I lifted my head and starred at the floor.

Nathan killed someone. It was the same day of his father's death. He had unleashed all his pain and anger on the poor woman.

What surprised me more was that, the description of the place was just like where my mother and I were on that day!